A
male
age
36-40,
*ossy
writes:we dated 5years back.while in high school.our love was so real that we won the award for the best couple.a year after graduation,we parted ways but without any breakup or fight.we just lost contact and it remained so until few weeks back when she got my contact from a facebook friend.I feeled more affected by our distance as i earnestly searched for her but all to no avail.i nearly commited suicide thinking she was dead or something.2 months ago she contacted me and said we get versatile and let go the back days go.i then agreed because she preached unconditonal and undying luv.i just wanted to play along but along the line my feelings began to build.i got scared and asked she let me be.i tried my best to pick quarrels but she loved me more then i askd her 2 let go.but since then i have not been to able to live with myself knowing i let her go.she is not picking my call or replying my text.her continous silence is driving me mad.i know i stil love her but i messed up and she hasnt said anything yet.i am going crazy.please i need advice.
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female
reader, clairabella  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 You need to express your love better to her, you can't just phone her, you need to show her that you do truely love her. You could do this by sending her flowers or a gift to her door, you could bump into her somewhere wearing a suit and holding flowers. As a woman myself i would like someone to show their appreciation and affection by doing something spontanious to me, rather than just calling or texting me. If you really want her that bad, then you have to fight for her, she sounds like she is playing hard to get, so don't give up. She will realise what a spontanious and lovely man you are and how much you do truely love her and want her back. I hope everything goes well. x
A
female
reader, Jumby +, writes (13 April 2010):
 Ok I've been in a similar situation before and it does hurt and is incredibly frustrating but hang in there, things do get easier.
You didn't mean to hurt her and that's completley understandable. Your feelings became too intense and you reacted in a way which is natural which is to push away. First things first fair enough you made a mistake, but your human. You need to forgive yourself first before you expect her to forgive you.
Guilt pushes people away more. So take some time out. As much as it frustrates anyone to hear this, time heals all wounds. Take time to reflect and calm yourself down because when she is ready to talk to you you need to be in a better frame of mind. Try not to text or ring her because she probably needs to distance herself while she sorts her own mind out. Give her the gift of missing you.
in time, when you feel stronger and she also feels stronger tentitivley approach her perhaps by a facebook message. Simply ask her how she is, and maybe say that you hope she's getting on ok. Nothing heavy, no suggestion of a meet up...let her lead. Wait for her to reply even if it takes days or even a month. When she is ready she will respond.
Don't base all your hopes and life on one person, you need to live for yourself and if she is meant to be in your life she will see that your still there and that your sorry and come back to you. Just give it time, bide it out and ultimatley forgive yourself and live your life and take baby steps. Good luck :-)
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