A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Merry Christmas! Hope everybody is having fun. My question stems from my wish to not be loved. I'm 22 and in my senior year at a university. I've never been in a relationship or had any sexual relations before, I don't interact very well with my family members, we just don't connect very well and I don't usually like leaving the my house unless I have to, even when I'm invited to parties and get togethers by friends and people I know. I usually prefer keeping to myself and staying away from others. Believe it not I dont give the impression of a loner that much at school but I'm known for it in my neighbourhood, some ppl didn't even know my brother had brother, but as soon I get the chance I run off and most times try to avoid people even when things are going fine like I'm having a conversation with them and giving jokes even. I'm not easily intimidated or a goofball blowing in the wind im not afraid of anybody or telling ppl off if I have to.The idea of a relationship kind of scares me and the idea of sex mortifies me, just the thought of being so close to a girl, skin to skin, trying to pleasure each other makes me me feel funny and queasy I'd probably push her off me. I try my best to stay away from ppl, my family, parties, the world and anybody else. I don't want to talk anyone or fall in love with someone or have them fall in love with me...well, I think. I just want to be alone in the comfort of my home watching TV or something. I think sometimes about a wife and a family and sex and sometimes I think I want it but other times I just want the space without the pressure of the outside world. Sometimes I think I'm lying to myself, sometimes I think I'm a paradox doing what I do ONLY for the purpose of being loved. If love came knocking I probably wouldn't answer the door, eventually it will go away and ill be happy again.I don't want to be loved by anybody.......right?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): I felt this way when I was your age, mine was due to issues I needed to face. I suggest that you talk to a professional, not because there is something wrong with you or the way you feel, but simply to help you find out the reason for why you feel the way you do. Once you know the reason why you feel this way, it may help you to find out if it is really something that you want. I was determined to never be loved, but after therapy I found that fear was causing me to feel this way, now I am happily in a relationship, and so glad that I am. You may find that you truly don;t want to be loved, and that's ok, I just think it would be good for you to explore the reasons to make sure it's what you truly want in life. Good Luck
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