A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:been with my now ex boyfriend for about 5 years.. he lives in Canada and me in the states a long distance relationship. He is 29 and I am 27 We had an overall close relationship and i even lived with him for a year and it was the best experience we both enjoyed each other.. we fell in love over time and wanted to make it a goal to be together and move and a visa eventually when the time feel in place. Unfortantly I did something that hurt him pretty bad.. over the years I ran into some finance issues he was always working extra hard and sending me money to help me become stable. I believe I took him a little for granted on the money although I truly did have hard times.. he was sitting in the background working his butt off. Sometimes I would make decisions with the money and it would turn out to be a bad mistake because it would cost him more in the end. I also called him a really horrible name " i called him gay" this is when i had crossed the line and he had left me. I was feeling a little insecure this day, and it had to do with me not him and i poured my frustration out on him and hurt him where i knew it could hurt a mans pride.. deep down i feel i really wanted time with him and i wanted some of his attention .. and i was directing it in the wrong way. At first he said i needed a lesson so for 6mths i still talked with him, but i went about it wrong and plead with him instead of just giving him more space. Now its to the point i dont think its a lesson.. he messaged me about 2 days ago said good evening.. i responded lightly made my self a little aloof i dont want to be any more desperate then i have been. I have been working on me and proving more space to him at this point the only good thing is when he did msg me he asked a lot of questions about whats new with me.. i was just acting a tad aloof. Is this repairable and what would be the best action to take?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the response, but if he is online do i ignore and wait for him to message if ever do i say hello sometimes he said we could still talk.. after the breakup, but this implies only some friend category, its a start if i really want to reconcile with him but looking clingy and needy is not attractive i thought men need a little chase i dont want to be to available i thought, he hasn't messaged me in a bout 4 days.. since the last msg. I said hello only once and got NO REPLY I am trying to be friendly and positive. Do i just see for his terms.. if he does msg or call me..and in the meantime just do me, or do i msg him every once in a while? Confused... on how to handle this if i really want to reconcile with him one day if ever possible which may not be. And yes Im paying him back weekly out my paycheck.
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