A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a smart, successful, attractive young woman. I always seem to pick the 'wrong men'. I have deep issues with men and trust, like most women, but it seems things go great then I freak out. As soon as I put my guard up temporarily they run. Every time. It just validates all my issues. Besides therapy, I've done it, what can I do to help with my dating and issues coming through? And why do men do the one thing they say they won't, run. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): You have already taken a GIGANTIC step towards solving your problem: You have recognized that it's not a lack of good men, it's something you are doing to prevent yourself from ending up with one of them. A lot of people spend their lives in bad relationships blaming everyone else but themselves.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2012): Men often go for attractive and some go for attractive and smart. Very few go for a combo of all three. Men have big egos. Mostly would enjoy feeling superior to the woman in their arms. Bitter truth.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2012): It's probably a combination of you freaking out and putting your guard up "temporarily". You sound like you over think things massively and are too afraid to let go in case you get hurt. It's not working though is it? You're getting hurt anyway without even getting a chance to get to know the person. In all honesty though OP we don't have enough details to be able to tell you what's wrong.
All I can tell you from what I see is that you're taking the whole dating and men thing far too seriously. Really way too seriously. I mean come on, what's the point in freaking out or having a guard at all? Where's the fun in that?
OP dating and guys are about the fun, not about getting a boyfriend because you need one, not about looking for "mr. right" it's just a bit of fun, you go with the flow sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes it does but as soon as it's not fun anymore then you call it a day and go on to the next one.
It is also possible you have a type and that type are guys with traits not conducive with having any kind of meaningful relationship with.
My advice is to take it easy, put getting a man far down your list of priorities and just date for the good time and nothing else. Don't worry about guards, don't put so much pressure on yourself that you freak out. Just take it one date at a time and try to enjoy yourself.
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