A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I recently bought tickets for my bf and I to go on a trip out of the country. He had no intention, it turns out, of paying me back, and now that we've broken up, I have a feeling I'll never see that money again, but IF there is a chance of getting it, it's all about persuasion. How does one go about convincing another person to pay his fare share of something he doesn't *have* to pay for? Use moral guilt? He's a zen buddhist, he doesn't believe in guilt. Trade something of his worth a few dollars for the several hundred he owes on the ticket? Threaten to sue? (but on what grounds?).I need help!
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female
reader, frizzylizzy  +, writes (14 December 2007):
 Write it off as an expensive lesson my friend and just beware the next time you find someone new..
sounds like he's an a**hole so your better off with him..Go on the trip yourself and have a ball
A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (13 December 2007):
 The worst thing about this is that although it's a hard lesson learned for you, and an expensive one, this tw@t has probably now made you wary of trusting others in similar situations.
Make sure your next boyfriend is the kind that wants to take you away and spoil you :o)
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers.
I was not very smart purchasing these tickets and bought unrefundable tickets, and they are untransferable. So the airline will give me credit for my seat, and give him credit for his seat - they're also stubborn! It doesn't matter that both seats were purchased on my card, he still gets the credit for the one in his name. Ouch.
We didn't actually have an agreement before I bought the tickets. I assumed by "you buy the tickets and we'll settle up later" he meant he would pay for his half, but he told me the day after I bought the tickets he couldn't afford to pay his share. After some discussion we decided he would pay for the hotels and cabs and other expenses for the rest of the trip, and try to give me something to help out with the bulk of the costs later.
I think you are all right in that I've lost on this one. I wish starfairy was right about the amount. It's actually equal to half my monthly salary, but c'est la vie. I probably would never really take it to court, but as I'm so lacking in the powers of persuasion I was hoping someone could show me the magic system that could convince him to show me some mercy and pay for his credit.
I'll definitely chalk this one up to another lesson learned. Darn, that makes: don't cosign for anyone, not even a spouse, don't take in someone else's kid without a written agreement for some financial support, and don't buy tickets on your own card for your date. I'm learning, I hope!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers.I was not very smart purchasing these tickets and bought unrefundable tickets, and they are untransferable. So the airline will give me credit for my seat, and give him credit for his seat - they're also stubborn! It doesn't matter that both seats were purchased on my card, he still gets the credit for the one in his name. Ouch.We didn't actually have an agreement before I bought the tickets. I assumed by "you buy the tickets and we'll settle up later" he meant he would pay for his half, but he told me the day after I bought the tickets he couldn't afford to pay his share. After some discussion we decided he would pay for the hotels and cabs and other expenses for the rest of the trip, and try to give me something to help out with the bulk of the costs later. I think you both are right. I've lost on this one. I wouldn't really take it to court, but as I'm so lacking in the powers of persuasion I was hoping someone could show me the magic system that could convince him to show me some mercy and pay for his credit. I'll definitely chalk this one up to another lesson learned. Darn, that makes: don't cosign for anyone, not even a spouse, don't take in someone else's kid without a written agreement for some financial support, and don't buy tickets on your own card for your date. I'm learning, I hope!
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (12 December 2007):
 Well first off it boils down to what "agreement" he had with you to pay the debt off. If you didnt have an agreement as such to pay off this debt, then you have nothing.
Its an unfortunate situation, one that I have found myself in before, but it wasnt for hundreds of pounds, it was just over £100.
Its not a fair situation, but one that happens too often!
I think its safe to say that if there is no agreement to pay this money back, you can forget it. Sorry! Its a stupid law, but unfortunately the law!
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female
reader, starfairy +, writes (12 December 2007):
The hardest thing to do is to get someone to do something they don't want to do!
I was going to say try appealing to his conscience, but as he doesn't believe in guilt, this might not be the best course.
You could try small claims court, although I'm not a legal expert so I'm not sure if this would have much grounds for a case.
If you do have something of his that is valuable, sell it on Ebay. This might be sinking as low as him and not the best option, but if you're stuck financially then you don't have much else choice!
I would try talking to his first, or writing him a letter explaining how you feel and why you feel he should still honour his verbal agreement to pay you back.
If he has a shred of decency in his body, he will want to pay you back, even if in monthly installments.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): I think you should just suck it up and let it go. So you lost a couple hundred dollars. Alright so its annoying. I know. But I know people who have lost $100,000. Now that's something to cry about. But for a couple hundred dollars?? I mean no lawyer or even small claims court is going to take you seriously.
And I am not trying to discredit your point. I know its annoying. And obviously what he did was wrong. But just be the bigger person. You asked. He refused. So that's his karma not yours. I just really think that you are being petty if you keep making an issue out of it. And its not even that much money.
If it makes you feel any better my sister's luggage was stolen at the airport. She estimated she had about $10,000 worth of jewelry and clothes in there, including a tiffany ring she had just bought herself with her bonus money. The airline only paid her back $3000. That was a $7000 loss. And you know what?? She cried about it for like a week and just said, f*ck it, shit happens, I am not going to sit here and cry over material stuff. And she's moved on. And so should you.
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