A
female
age
41-50,
*irlabroad
writes: Originally I married my husband to help him with his greencard. The first couple of years we fought constantly, and I tried to leave him several times. Eventualty, I got tired of fighting. Now we have been together for 4 years now. I was in love once before, and I knew w/o a doubt that I loved the other guy. With my husband now, I don't have the same feeling. He is a good guy, and he has helped me through alot, as I have helped him. I just feel like something is missing. We don't have alot in common, we are from different cultures. When I think of why I love him, it boils down to feeling compassionate towards him. When I've tried to leave and he tells me he loves me and he cries, I can't bear it. He is a good man, we just don't have the 'fun' and laughter that I had with my ex. I really miss the joy that I had with my ex. I have never had tremendous fun with my husband. We do things together and it's nice, but it feels empty sometimes. Am I comparing this too much to my last relationship, or will I make us both miserable if we stay together?
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female
reader, petina1 +, writes (27 November 2008):
Yes, try to enjoy what you have now. You are letting the old feelings of the past distorte your life now. Try to forget the other guy and concentrate on the here and now. The grass is always greener, until you cross over the fence, i'ts just a myth. Don't compare your husband but find out what makes him tick and work on your relationship. Better the devil you know. hope this helps.
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