A
female
age
41-50,
*londe and blue
writes:been seeing a guy for a year on and of,he is just about divorced and i would like to know where i stand with him? his kids are the same age as mine and get on great at school but he doesnt really involve them too much with me.i only see him 3 nites a week and do want more but get the feeling he doesnt or is it just because of his divorced getting settled.i am going away in sept for the weekend with so wonder if i should leave it tell then to ask 'where are we going from here?' help i dont want to finish with him
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (19 June 2007):
 I personally would not leave it till sept to try and find out where this is going i would speak to him now about it, i can understand that he that he is keeping the children out of your relationship abit at the moment as it is probably best for the children they might well be struggling with the fact their mum and dad are splitting up so they need time with their dad.
Just tell him how you are feeling because he probably does not realise and he could very well put your mind at rest.
Take care.xx.
A
female
reader, Beckto  +, writes (19 June 2007):
 Ask him now. Waiting will only prolong the agony you're going through. You won't know what he's thinking till you ask and hopefully he will be honest with you.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 June 2007):
 I guess you should tell him exactly that: "Where are we going from here?" If he wants to get serious about you, he will respond to your question with actions. If he doesn't, he won't. That will hurt, but you'll have a clear picture of what to do. Doubt is your worst enemy here.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, NuVu +, writes (19 June 2007):
I think he is justified in taking it slow especially since he's not even divorced yet and he is children to be concerned about. I don't think you should push this with him right now. However, if you are confused and don't know where you stand with him, i think fair that you ask him. Although many people who divorce often jump into a relationship quickly, others want to take their time about getting into another serious relationship. Try to find out which boat he's in.
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A
female
reader, floraltemptaions  +, writes (19 June 2007):
Hes probably being smart in the situation, he wants to make sure he's not jumping from the frying pan to the fire so to speak! He wants to make sure what he feels for you is real, not rebounding love. Give him time, he'll come around when he realizes how patient and loving you are. If you pressure him too much, he might get scared.... so go gently. Let him know that when he's ready, you're there for him and ready for the next step.
Best of luck!
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