A
male
age
30-35,
*ozmo
writes:I don't understand how my mind works. I fancy people, but these are all people I never have a chance with. But I never fancy people I would/do have a chance with.For example, I liked a girl before I found out she had a crush on me too. Now I no longer fancy her... it is like I have a subconscious block that stops me getting too close to anything resembling a relationship... what can I do about this??
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 I need to preface what I'm about to say to you by telling you that I'm not saying this in a negative manner, nor am I judging you. In fact, I hope instead of becoming angry or defensive at what I'm about to say, you'll take it to heart and emotionally know how to deal with this as you encounter it.
There are three things at play here for you. I almost consider it a perfect storm of issues:
1. Conquest Syndrome: You love the conquest, which is why you go for the seemingly unobtainable. Once you have her, or you know that she's obtainable, you lose interest.
2. Intimacy issues: You're all about the chase, but not about the relationship. You don't want someone to really get to know you, and deep down inside, you don't feel like you'll ever click if she gets to know the real you.
3. Lack of maturity: You are young...not really familiar with true loneliness. You're just coming out of your parent's shelter. You haven't had to ever work for a relationship before.
To fix it, you must decide whether you want the conquest, or the human connection. It's easy to want someone, but what to do when you have her? I'd like to say that maturity will fix it, but I think the thing that will in your case is true loneliness and longing for connection. You've never actually fallen in love before. Believe me, when you do, you'll die before you ever want to let her go.
A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Hi,
I believe that you like the challenge of liking someone that doesn't like you back. It's a thrill to get them to like you. Once you have conquered the challenge, the thrill is gone...and you get bored. It's a kind of sport.
You are still a young person, hopefully it will change as you mature. Just remember life is not a game as some people think. People have feelings and you don't want to go around hurting people just because you like challenges
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