A
male
age
41-50,
*oolAndCoolest
writes:i have lot of fantasies. some is against my wife's wish. i want to get some opinion. i fantasy that my wife flirts with somebody else too.when on a trip i told her to expose little bit to our friend who was with us. i enjoyed when i saw he was looking at her sheepishly.but basically she does not like the idea. i can understand it. she is right about it.the point i want to ask here is : does this fantasy of mine means that i am not interested in her? does not i love her? from a female point of view, what will normally a wife feel a about it?if this is a very bad thing and going to affect our family i want to stop it. if so, to control these feelings can any body give advises on this.
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male
reader, CoolAndCoolest +, writes (17 January 2010):
CoolAndCoolest is verified as being by the original poster of the questionnon judgemental and very sensible suggestions... i have got friends here. thank you for all of you. especially for the "anonymous".
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): A fantasy is fun. We all enjoy them...to oursleves. But if you are bringing this one to the real world and your wife doesnt enjoy it, then you have to stop.
If i were your wife and you asked me to expose parts of myself to another man, while you watched his discomfort. I would not enjoy doing that. Partly because i would feel i was being unfaithful to you. Partly because i wouldnt enjoy making another person feel uncomfortable. I would think less of you for putting me in that position. I would feel you werent a caring husband. And i would not think you were being very nice to your friend. Also i would worry incase i began to enjoy showing men my body and having their attention, when you werent around to make them feel uncomfortable. As you can see. You might end up damaging your marriage by asking your wife to show her body to other men. You might live to regret it.
If you want to bring a fantasy to the real world that might not offend your wife so much....why not try asking her pretend she doesnt know you, when you are both out. Let her entice you with a barely concealed leg or breast. Pretend you are a naughty stranger, watching her when you shouldnt. Its fun, it wont offend your wife and no one gets hurt.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): It's a fantasy and you can control it. It's a fantasy that means that it is fun in your head. Don't let it get out.
How can anyone else tell you whether you love your wife or not?
Enjoy what you have with your wife without asking her to do things she is not comfortable with. You don't even sound like you are comfortable with the idea yourself. On one hand you want your wife to do something on the other you say, she is right when she refuses and bring your family into it.
They are only your thoughts. Let them stay in your head or use them to masturbate.
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A
female
reader, gotelf  +, writes (16 January 2010):
No offense, I think that's kind of wrong, especially if she doesn't enjoy it.
That's what fantasies are for though: to be fantasies. It doesn't mean you can't enjoy it on your own.
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A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (16 January 2010):
 This fantasy you have doesn't mean you don't love your wife. It's just a very specific fantasy you have and you want her incorporated in it.
If you feel it's a problem, have you considered talking to a counsellor about it?
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