A
female
age
41-50,
*uzy G
writes: Hi, I’m 24 and I started a new job this year, which I love to bits, and in the process, got to know one of my collegues, (he’s 20), who was giving me lots of attention and flirty compliments. At the time, we were both single and he asked me out for a drink, which I agreed to do.However, at the beginning, I wasn’t that into him and made the mistake of moaning about past failed relationships, (which I now realise, must have been a huge turn-off). I also didn’t make much off an effort on our date. He then changed his attitude towards me. But I had a change of heart a few weeks later and realised I DID like him afterall and was going to ask him out again, but felt too scared of being rejected.Now he’s dating this other girl who works next door to our office and I feel so jealous. I’ve tried hard to stop thinking about him and move on, but I just feel like giving up my life altogether. Ive made a huge mistake and I now want him to be my boyfriend What should I do to convert the situation and win him back into my life?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006): There is absolutely nothing you can do, hun. Sorry to say this to you but you are responsible for your actions in how you dealt with him...these are the consequences and a good quality person with interity ..does not interfere in other people's love relationships. That will show him a side of you that is not too attractive. This is a life learning process and we learn hard lessons , from what we do. The best thing you can do is be a positive, happy person and move on to other opportunities. If and when he and this new gf, call it a day...that is the time you make your move. But be careful-if it turns out he was dumped by her-he will have heartfelt hurt, hurt feelings and will need--just a good friend. You will have to assess the situation when and 'if' the time comes. Baggage from prior relationships are not what should be acceptable in new relationships. If he dumps her...let him know you want to date him. And go from there. In the meantime, don't pine away...be strong and look after yourself. Get out with good friends and have fun! Life is just too short! You are wonderfully young and have so much ahead of you...enjoy it and make the best of it. But you never, ever hurt others to get what you want. That is self-serving and says 'alot about who you truely are'... be classy, but be kind. Take care and be strong, dear.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006): Stay shut up while they are together. If they break up come out and invite him out. You cant give "hints" at this point.
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A
female
reader, xNatx +, writes (30 December 2006):
Hi, this is a tricky situation. You could try telling him how you feel about him and explaining to him that when you went on your date together it was not really the best time for you to be dating but you feel differntly about it now and if he would like to aswel you would like to try another date. I no it may seem hard and scary to talk to him, but you will never no if he still likes you if you dont ask. Hope this helps.
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