A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have guy that I posted about who keeps coming in and out of my life. He always reaches out after months saying misses me only to disappoint me and ditch me again...but every time he comes back I think its finally the time that hes gonna stick with it.. I think to myself, he wouldn't do it again, put me through that pain again... but no, he runs away again every time! He ditched me over a month for the umpteen time. I finally had enough and came to realization that it's time to stop doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result. So I finally deactivated my Facebook and changed my number to have a fresh start. I also deleted his number so I can't contact him .However it finally hit me now and I'm starting to miss him but I know it has to be done.There's no looking back .I thought I was going to feel better but I feel worse, uncertainty and fear even though I know it is for the best. Is this a normal reaction?
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (8 November 2016):
Yes off course it is normal you are going to freak out because you have lost contact and you know if he wants to contact that he can't. Yes it is scary but also the right thing to do because then he cannot hurt you again. Believe me he will not change, he will always keep hurting you and you don't want that. I know it is hard though because there is still a little bit off you that hopes he will come back and not leave again. But honey it is wishful thinking it is now time to give yourself a real chance off happiness.
Keep yourself busy with friends and family. Keep your mind active. Meet new people, try new things. It will get easier and you will get happier.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (8 November 2016):
Absolutely it's normal.
You liked him and now you've stopped speaking to you and you miss him and you realised that you can't contact him anymore. You know it's not worth it though and it's a waste of your time. You could be missing out on people that you could be dating by allowing this guy to behave the way he does.
You're free from that now so don't see it as a bad thing. You can move on and find someone who's actually worth your time.
Best wishes
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 November 2016):
Stay busy and LIVE life! Find tour goals and dreams (not in a partner but for YOU) and work towards them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice...I will take it day by day and keep reminding myself that it's for the best and things will get better
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 November 2016):
I think it is a "normal" reaction. After all you CARE(D) for him even if he didn't treat you right.
YOU can love someone, care for someone and NOT want to be around them because of how they behave.
It's a loss. There will be grief of sorts and the fact that the relationship wasn't exactly healthy, you have an UNHEALTHY attachment to him still. Deleting his number won't change that... yet.
I'd suggest you keep busy, go out with friends, spend time with family, positive people and do things you love to do. Eventually, you will either really realize how toxic the relationship was or you will "just" move on.
People are not light switches, we can't just turn our feelings off.
Chin up it will get better.
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