A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Im a 28yr old girl. I have been single throughout my life. I had very less paying jobs in past. No good relations with family. All alone, depressed and anxious over last 5 yrs. There was a time when i was too desparate to have a boyfriend and i feltvery vulnerable. I was damn miserable and that was probably the worst time of my life. All my attempts to get a good job and make a good relation with my family had failed. I was even a suicidal. But fortunately this year i got a good job with good pay scale. Now suddenly i started feeling good abt myself my job and everything. I never had a boyfriend and i was so lonely and desperate to have boyfriend, but now, i am not. I am ready to involve in relationship but im not desparate now. I really like this sudden change in me. How this happened all of a sudden? Is it a treasure that God has had for my struggles and pain? What shd i do now so that i would not get carried away with this "good time"? I dont want to be a jerk with this favorable time. Plz share your thoughts, i would appreciate it
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (23 June 2020):
 Have faith that this good season in your life isn't temporary; it's here to stay. You were granted just what you needed at the right time that you needed it. Give thanks to God for that blessing that you've received.
I suggest that during this time, along with giving thanks, develop some good habits that will see you through even the less than amazing days. Since you say you're happy being single and you're not desperate, try spending your time doing things that you will enjoy doing even if it's just you doing these things on your own. Since you're feeling so good, you should take advantage of the season that you're in and use it to grow and love yourself even more. Learn what it is that you like doing or where you like going and do those things and go to those places. In time, when you're ready for a relationship, you will be so self aware and content that you will have the strength to do that too without compromising your own values. Either way, I think that you will be okay.
In order not to get carried away, realising that this is a gift that's been given to you will go a long way. Now isn't the time to go crazy and be wild with it. As I've mentioned, developing good habits and keeping busy with the things that you love will help to keep you grounded if you're afraid that you may stray. Only allow good things and positivity into your life during this time. Anyone and anything that does not serve you well, needs to go. You need to protect your energy and your mental health and now that you've been given an opportunity to thrive, you will be able to make decisions that will protect you in the long run. Take the opportunity to make them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2020): For all good things be grateful to God. You are correct, we have seasons when we are down, alone, and feel hopeless. God has a soft-spot for the mourning and the broken. Maybe you prayed, or someone may have prayed for you. In any case, be thankful for all blessings, big and small. In exasperation, one day you may have called out "Oh God!" That's all He needs to hear, and He'll come to our rescue. You are blessed!
With increased income comes the ability to purchase those things that you need and desire. Spending and financial-success creates dopamine, and triggers feel-good endorphins. The "happy" hormones that make us euphoric. The same hormones we feel when in-love. They are only temporary. They last longer when you love someone. Had you found someone in your previous state of mind, you would have been needy and dependent. You are stronger than you thought, and fought your way out of it. Congratulations!
You have matured to a point of embracing your independence, you didn't give-up; and you have achieved an appreciation for the fact that you don't need a man to take care of you. A good-man can fulfill many of your other emotional needs. Providing romance, affection, emotional-support, and companionship that rises above just being friends.
If you are happy in your singleness at the moment, then all is well.
Our wants,goals, and priorities will change or shift over time. When our self-pity and loneliness subsides; we feel refreshed and renewed. That dark cloud is lifted! Money fulfills a particular need, and it gives us a sense of power; but it does not bring happiness. You get a temporary buzz from a new purchase, but it soon fades. You'll buy something else, and you get that buzz again. That's how we become greedy, materialistic, and overcome with consumerism. Like FatherlyAdvice wisely warns.
In due time, you will want to share your feelings; and you will seek the intimacy that romance brings. Enjoy your newfound independence. God is watching over you; so be sure to give Him thanks as often as you can. Meanwhile, let money do what money does; but you will need someone to share your happiness with. Even if it's a cute puppy, or new friend. Give to the needy, and more comes back in reward.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (22 June 2020):
 Your grief over the missing things in your life has advanced to acceptance. With that acceptance has come an end of your depression.
I am so happy to see the end of your depression. Be careful not to associate the good feeling with money. You can be happy in any financial situation.
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