A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I started seeing this guy eight months ago. We had a good relationship for the first six months, and then one day he gets a call. The woman he had been seeing before was pregnant. 6 months pregnant, she never contacted him, until then. I’m I stupid for wanting to stay in the relationship with him? Should I just let him go? How does someone do this? Why wait 6 months before contacting the father? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): He cheated on you if my calculations are right! If that is the case then get rid of him, he will never be any good to you. If your calculations are wrong,then it is up to you if you want to stick around, but he will be a dad and you cannot change that. He should be there financially for the child. Once the child is born and he sees it he may want more, even be a part of the childs life.You have all these things to consider.If you love him though and you believe his story of being with her before you, then you may want to stay with him and help him through this troubled situation.
take care
xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): The best way out is to not be with him. He has a baby once a baby is born there is no going back. But if you think this guy is worth your time never let him go do whatever you can to be with him just make sure he feels the same way about you make a decision, another thing he will never choose you over his baby and well if he loves you he will be with you and apologize for what he did. Good Luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe saw her, and slept with her a week before we started going out. after that he never saw her again, for six months, when someone who knew him and her told him "i saw, shes pregnant" so he calls her and finds out shes pregnant with his kid.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): I'm confused,..if she is 6 months pregnant and you started seeing him 8 months ago, didn't he cheat on you? I only ask because if so, my advice changes considerably!
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A
male
reader, Asexy +, writes (4 November 2007):
 If I have the math right, you'd been dating him for 2 months when he had sex with her. If you were in an "exclusive" relationship at that point, then this is a huge red flag. If I were you, that alone would cause me to rethink whether I wanted to be with the guy. On top of that, he has to help take care of the child. Even if he stays with you and is 100% committed to you, he has responsibilities and ties that don't include you. Will this bother you?If you trust that he will be faithful to you, and that he can commit to this child and not take away from your relationship with him, then you're NOT stupid for wanting to stay in the relationship. Otherwise, you should run like your ass is on fire.As for her not saying anything to him, there are lots of very different explanations, any of which might be right. (1) she wasn't sure she was going to have it (2) she knew she wasn't going to be in a relationship with him and didn't want to burden him (3) she knew she WANTED it but wasn't sure he would (4) she is in denial about being pregnant (5) she didn't find out she was pregnant until recently (unlikely but possible) ... the list is endless. Try not to worry about that end of it.Good luck hon. You've got some hard choices ahead.
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