A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some help here. I always seem to get it wrong. Either go into something too soon or hide and disguise my feelings until it is too late. I have been hurt too many times in the past and I tried to find a pattern. Give it up too soon and he won't respect you, play it cool for too long and he will move along. I am lucky to have people interested in me I just wish I had learned the game. This time around I met a guy accidentally. I didn't want to meet anyone, we just chatted during a football match (he started it)and then it all got really interesting with us chatting about the world and our passions and I got a feeling he really liked me (I also did but didn't really show it). He immediately found me on facebook and I invited him to my birthday party this sunday. Then today I accidentally bumped into him while leaving my local bar (yes football again) with a female friend. We smiled like mad and then moved along so it was kind of not how I wanted it to be. I have a very bad record of messing up things and I know I don't know the guy enough to care but I hardly ever get a feeling that is so strong and I wonder if there is anything I can do or NOT do (for instance, I was really tempted to send a message saying it was cool bumping into him and hope he can make the party, which I won't). I get a lot of attention from men but never from those I actually find attractive and this is one of those rare occasions. Does anyone have any advise on how to proceede?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 June 2012):
Yes, send him the message saying it was nice to see him and that you hope he can make the party. That'll reinforce that you're interested, and if he turns up you'll be able to talk to him some more.
Also, stop trying to live by rules and patterns when you meet guys. You need to relax a lot more and go with the flow. If and when something feels right to you, then that's when you do it! Deep down you want to send that message, which means it's the right thing to do. So do it, see if he turns up and if he does you can spend more time talking to him.
Don't work too rigidly to patterns and rules. He's interested, so take the next step and send him that facebook message. Then, just let things happen naturally.
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