A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:No Contact is supposed to help you heal. Blocking my ex out of my life ever since the break up has helped me in a lot of ways, but it has left me so curious. He has no way of contacting me, unless he wanted to show up to my house, I haven't contacted him, and we haven't had any contact since the break up, which was long ago. The break up left me with no closure, and I didn't ask him to go into detail about anything.What's the point? I don't think he would have given me the real reasons he broke up with me anyway. But 10 months later I still think about him....a lot. I have a normal busy life with friends school and work but it's like me shutting him out has put me in a mindset that he's going to come after me. And I will always wonder what I meant to him, if I even meant anything to him to begin with, or how he thinks of me now, if he does.I know it's wrong to think like that. It's not like we're going to contact each other now and have some kind of talk, the relationship was not long enough I guess you could say. I am not depressed or crying about him, I feel happy, but I feel like our relationship was cut short, we never got to know each other fully, we got along so well. No one has taken his place and I try not to put him on a pedestal, some days I don't care about him, then all of the sudden I do. I don't know what my question is. just wondering if anyone can relate.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2014): Hey hope you are doing better, its been year an a half for me now, I still think about her not as much as before met another, an the same thing happen again, she came from an abuser too,went back to him too, am done with women, that ever was with a guy who hit them, but I do still treat them nice, I won't change, I hope you met some one else.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto both the anonymous reader's I definitely feel for you guys and hope both of you find someone that loves and cares about you because it sucks to care about someone who doesn't feel as strongly for you. both of you guys deserve so much better. both of your stories sound like it really is your ex's loss.to CMMP my long term relationship was actually with a girl for four years, and we were very compatible. I've known her at least half of my life, but I am only 20 so..I think as I got older I changed and were at different places in our lives and now I feel like I just need to be with a man. I still love her, and now that it's been a while since the break up I don't find her annoying or repulsive. It may have been I just wanted to get away for a while. Yeah I understand that if someone thinks that way about a person they would be incompatible, it's not that there is anything wrong with the person, but it can still mess with your head when your boyfriend breaks up with you and you wonder if that's what he thought about you, especially someone you really like.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2013): I know how you feel. I broke up with my ex over a year ago. I'd found evidence that she was cheating, but I still think about her.
I'll see something while I'm out that she'd like or hear something about her from a friend and the memories come back. I know the reason we ended and she went on to do the same thing to her next bf, so I know it wasn't me that made her cheat.
All you can try to do is move on with your life. Find someone you're more compatible with. Other than that I don't know what else to suggest.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (12 April 2013):
I meant to add that your previous boyfriend and you weren't compatible either. If you were you wouldn't have thought he was so annoying and repulsive. For some other woman he may be perfect, it doesn't make him repulsive because you had those feelings.
So even if your more recent ex found you repulsive it just means you weren't right for each other, because you're obviously not a repulsive person, right?
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (12 April 2013):
People tend to think that other people think how they do, so it's not a surprise that you feel he broke up with you because of that, but it's probably not true unless you noticed signs.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2013): Hi, its sounds so much, the same for me, the same amount of time, our time was also cut short. No contact what so ever, wondering if she will ever con tact me, am happy, but I feel like theirs apart of me missing her, we were only together 3 months,, ,I treated her like an princess, I would to like to know the truth, I keep talking to her in my head , am sure you are too, this relationship, I tried the hardest, to make her feel wanted, an happy, but when her ex got out of jail, the one who beat her all the time, she was gone right back to him, so now I feel like you do, ten months later, every one says forget her, but the heart just cant stop thinking about her, so I hope you will fall in love again, hey I do know how it feels. Me
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply, I think something that is bothering me is I have broken up with someone in a long term relationship before and when I broke up with that person, I had lost sexual attraction for them, sexually I was repulsed, and pretty much everything about that person annoyed the shit out of me (as much as I still loved them and cared about them). I guess I just assume that was how he felt about me when he broke up with me even though our relationship was short. After the break up I just thought that was how he saw me. Before I felt very secure about myself, this made me completely want to change myself. Although I have dated other guys and I know I am an attractive person, this has been the biggest struggle for me.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (12 April 2013):
Well, the benefit of no contact is that he can't get a hold of you which will prevent you from wondering when/if he's going to call.
Since no one in their right mind would just show up at an exes doorstep long after a breakup, you need to get that thought out of your head.
Also, you need to realize that he didn't break up with you because something was wrong with you, he did so because you weren't compatible. So there's probably nothing he could tell you that would satisfy you. The only time that isn't true is if you really do have an issue: your abusive, cheated, untrusting, etc.
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