A
female
age
41-50,
*obme
writes:Well I didnt get the job I so wanted and I am now 'stuck' at my old job once again! UGH! I have no clue why as I wasnt told why I didnt get that job, just that they hired someone else and will see if that person works out or not.My ex and I have now approached one month in full contact and I am getting to used to him calling and iming me so much that I expect it daily now.I am leaving to go to GA and retrieve my new car that I have paid cash for and driving home.Our daughter was recently diagnosed with ADHD and is getting treatment soon with medication since it is getting worse now in school and home.The exact day I found out that she has this horrible disease :( my ex called my cell to say he was fired from his almost 3 year job and I am losing her insurance SOON! I am lost on now what to do to get insurance and I have limited money as it is on my own now.My ex keeps repeating he will "make things right soon".He is active in job searching and even applied to jobs online up here in IN too.Saying money will make him relocate here quick.He is getting more excited by the day with me flying down on the 12th and I am just wanting to get my car and head home with my new car and expect NOTHING else.He has mentioned me and my girls living there in GA but I have said NO because its his controlling family there that ruined us to begin with and I will NOT do that again!! He even said the day he was let go at his job he thought "IN here I come".He hasn't been too clear on his intentions but did say "this is all we can do for now".I just see me being nice and trying NOT to get used to him again. I want my new car home and resume life :) Scared of what he is up too anymore but see no danger just him being way too nice for the last 31 days..Sometimes I miss him and want to go "home" and then there is times where I think HELL NO and stay in this present time in my life.It will be 2 years in May that we ended and me and my girls drove home to IN.This is all coming as a shock, I never expected him to miss all of us that much to do all this!
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female
reader, tobme +, writes (4 February 2008):
tobme is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks alot for the kind advice and we did have a long 12 year sometime rocky marriage but not bad till we got to GA and his mother got in the middle and controlled him to no end there.She is the major influence on our marriage ending only.She promised him a great future if he kicked me and and our girls out and she bought him a house and gives him money now too.His parents will not be there in GA when I come down to get my car and come home to IN.They will be in Vegas on a week long vacation.I dont like being a secret as I do not hide anything from my family at all and they are supprtive on whatever they think will make me happy.I think he is trying to get us all back and he is putting alot of effort in doing that like I have ever seen.I miss him alot now and am enjoying him in my life as he is again my best friend.I do hear I will call or talk to you tomorrow everyday and I know this isnt ending anytime soon.Being a single mom is too hard alot and yes my kids are suffering a great deal.I just dont know how we will resolve this issue of us being apart since me nad my girls living in GA is NOT an option because his mother is beyond pyscho over her son.That I do not want in my life! Its nice when we talk daily as no drama is in the middle.Proves we are not moved on much and no love was lost with his mother pulling the strings on him.Right now we are in a good place.I am anxious to see what will happen when I go to get my car and I am there at his house for 3 days before I drive 10 hours home.I guess its a wait and see thing.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): Well whether you stay in Indiana(?) or go to GA, I know atleast that in NY, every child under 18 gets mandatory free health care. I don't know if that is a law limited to just NY or if other states do it, but you should find out. You can talk to a local social worker and see what your options are so that your child doesn't go without proper health care. People in low income brackets do have options, I guarantee you, especially if there is a child involved.
As for your ex, I don't really know why you two broke up or why you would think he is being insincere, but I am sure you know him well enough so that you can make a good prediction of what he might be up to or what his intentions are. By the same token, you know what you have been through with him, so based on the past, I am sure you can also make a good prediction of what life would be like with him if you decide to reconcile.
I know it is not an ideal situation for you or for the kids to live in a broken home. And that is why it is so appealing to try to work things out with him. I don't blame you at all. I believe in making marriages work out especially if there are kids involved. HOWEVER, if he has been abusive to you or to the kids in any way, shape or form, or is cheating on you and just bringing more pain into your household and jeopardizing the safety and happiness of you and your children, then by no means should you try to reconcile with him. That automatically should be enough to make you end things for good. And in that case you should just let him figure out his issues on his own and just move on with your life.
But if he's not abusive, he's FAITHFUL (this is important), and you guys are just bickering and disagreeing over issues that you think can be worked out, then go for it, by all means. In fact, if this is the case, then I totally encourage you to work things out with him. If he is a good guy, then all you two need is alot of patience and good communication.
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