A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:I really really really wanted to see my boyfriend today only for like an hour or 2 and I asked him threw a text if he was ok with me coming over? My real reasoning is cause I wanted sex but I figured I should be nice about it and ask him just if we could spend time together. Anyways he first asked me what time? I told him 7pm and then said "mmm not today. I have not had much time to myself lately and I also need to clean my room." I was kinda upset that I did not even say anything back to him for the rest of the day. I was kinda upset because most times we hangout I never ask for him to come over he is the one saying he wants to see me and thats fine but I guess i am a little upset cause I never ask him for anything and all I wanted was to see him today. Is it bad that I dropped off while we were texting and never said anything to him? I am sure he knows I am upset now. The whole thing almost makes me want to tell him no next time he wants to see me so tell me am I wrong or right or am i crazy? I keep thinking I should just wait till he is ready to text me or call me so I have just not said anything to him is this bad? sorry if my typing is alittle jummbled I have a hard time with this small keyboard but thanks in advance.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (30 March 2011):
 But by your own admission, seeing him WASN'T all you wanted. You wanted sex, and even though he did't know that, his turning you down felt like him turning you down for sex. That's why you're excessively upset about this.
Basically, you need to get better at communication. You need to talk about how you're feeling, and what's going on in your head. He needs to hear it so he knows what effect his behavior is having on you. It's not fair to either of you the way things are standing.
Not addressing the problem never fixes it. It's not always easy having those conversations, but they are necessary if you want to grow in a relationship. Your behavior is typical, and part of the reason so many relationships fail.
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