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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been at this company for a few years; I was in a serious relationship and it was hard on me after. It has been a long time. One guy in my area is very good at his job, smart, very outgoing, moved up fast. He is pretty personable too and friendly with everyone. He is popular and close with other people; not sure if he looks at them the same way he looks at me at times.I am in the area so when he walks by he has to pass by me in the morning and he usually says my name and we look at each other as he passes and say hi. Sometimes i feel like it is a really nice look, like there is some spark there.. but then i think he might just have that type of soulful eyes some people have..when they look at someone, that is how they look at everyone. So i try brushing it off even though i like how he looks at me.He seems to look after me. I am very quiet at work, probably labeled socially awkward and insecure.. I was having some personal issues which i dont talk about at work either and he came over one afternoon and said i am more quiet than usual, i know something is wrong. He offered to go out for a drink and talk. Something actually came up later b/c of tickets to an event offered by someone in the office which is totally fine. It just seemed nice he noticed and cared to even ask me. Especially since him and i don't really talk probably due to me..if i had been more outgoing in the beginning it wouldn't look weird now if i tried to be more social. So now things are kinda stuck the way they are with him.We actually wound up making out one night after an outing with coworkers. We went to his place which i have been at before but with other coworkers. He would have slept with me if i wanted to take things further but i just can't do a one night stand thing. It would make me feel worse. So it was basically alot of kissing and i would say pg13 maybe a little nc17..nothing completely major in my opinion.I am more emotional so i kissed him more with emotion which i wonder can a person tell? he played with my hair at times, kept putting it behind my ear and we cuddled as well. At one point he did kiss me on my forehead when laying down.It seemed obvious though things werent going to be pursued. Maybe it was just a big mistake to him or maybe he does like me in a tiny way and could have feelings for me but since we are coworkers it just won't happen.He came over to me the next day asking if we were cool which i said yea and we dropped it. It has been a few months. Last week though in the afternoon, it was my turn to help out in the front area. 3 of the close guy coworkers were walking out to get lunch including the one i kinda like. There is another one who i joke around with, he is a player and everyone knows it but it is kind of in this funny way and you still just have to like him etc etcHe calls me this name usually.. it is not a curse word or anything like that.. it is almost like calling someone punk.. and i just sort of laugh it off because it is almost a joke between us now. And he said it to me saying he is going to get lunch---while walking with the two other guys (the one i like and this other guy)..and the one i like heard this and said the same but said my name instead in a distinct way. I gave the player a mean joking look which i dont think he noticed and then just kept my head down and didnt really think about it until later.Then later on the "player" came over with this smile on his face and we were joking around and i even said what is with this sneaky smile of yours etc etc...then he actually brought up eventually how he wouldn't call me that in front of other people; it is between us because we know how we are and he joked how he is changing etc etc..and later i am thinking to myself--it doesn't even sound like him to bring that up to me..how suddenly he won't call me that unless we are alone?So it made me think maybe the coworker i like stood up for me in some way? maybe said listen don't do that in front of other people or don't embarrass her etc..? in a nice way of course because they are good friends.And then later on he invited me with our other coworker and boss for a drink..and it was before work was over..i actually said maybe i should stay and maybe he could tell i was uncomfortable and he said so and so thinks you should go(our boss).And then at the bar my boss actually started talking about people still living at home after college and how she couldnt do it..i felt totally out of place because the two guys live with roomates. I am still at home but i have a different situation. I know they have more money than me simply from where they come from etc..and i help out my parents and contribute my income and i am saving as well. But how i can tell them that? that i help out my parents.And i think the coworker i like knows i still live at home..he started saying how his family member lived at home til he was 31 etc..and now he is married, has a house so everyone is different..it sort of made me think was he sticking up for me again? unless he was just making conversation and it is all in my freakin headWhen we were all leaving i felt awkward not knowing what to say..he asked if i am heading out and i said yea and he said have a good weekend and we gave each other a kiss on the cheek. I gave the other coworker a kiss on the cheek as well..i felt it would be weird in front of my boss not to and leave things uneven. I just felt so shy and like an idiot LOLBut anyway..does it sound like he genuinly cares for me in more than just a coworker way? and maybe a little bit romantic?I know it wont go anywhere because it is work and maybe he just doesnt like me like that.. but i guess i like the feeling that he may think of me in a romantic sense at times. I was able to let it go and now i feel distracted again by itmaybe he just feels sorry for my pathetic shy butt lol Do you think he likes me a little?
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at work, co-worker, insecure, kissing, living at home, money, my boss, one night stand, player, shy, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, smile(:  +, writes (15 November 2010):
Does he like you as opposed to just being nice like he is to everyone? Yes, it sounds like he likes you a little; you already know that. It also sounds like you like him but aren't secure.
From what you say he is a nice guy, and that he will treat you with respect (the incident with the other coworker calling you a name). If you like him, and you think he might like you, it is time for you to take the coolers off of your interaction with him. Just ask him on a date; show some interest. Don't move too quickly, you want a deeper relationship than a one night stand, like you said. See if things will develop, if he wants to go on another date, if he will start talking to you more, etc. I would say this is one time you really want to open up. If he doesn't like you, he is nice, and he will let you down nicely. To find a nice guy these days, is hard. If things work out, I'd say you are one lucky girl.
If what you say about him is true, I would say he is definitely worth the risk.
If he does just feel "sorry for your pathetic shy butt," what are you waiting for. This is your opportunity to learn from the best how to overcome your shyness, and gain a good friend.
What are you waiting for? the stars to align? because it sounds like they are pretty close. So many questions I reply to, the people aren't in half as good of a situation, I'd love to hear how things go, you want to msg my account. (I'll give you more of my 2 cents if you want).
I really wish you the best.
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