A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How much time should it take for my ex to trust me again? We were together 11 months and 2 months ago we had a disagreement and we stop talking, even told her not to visit me ( lives 800 miles away ) I didnt really reach out to her until I visited her in person(6 weeks later). She said I her her and her daughter, even though her daighters truely loves me said she is afraid I will leave them again ( Blames everything on me )Since she started talking to me again she has allowed me to help her with a couple of things, Invited me to see her and her daughter for a weekend. But at times she reminds me how we are just friends and doesnt know if she can ever trust me again. But allows me to use terms of endearment with her. She saids I have no right to ask her if she is talking to anyone else but claims she isn't. I'm just wondering if I should continue to be patient with her defensive attitude and wasting my time. She is allowing me to spend time with her daughter thanksgiving weekend. Just dont know why she keeps saying we are just friends when her daghter refers to me as daddy. Its this normal for a single mother to be having me in dog house so long?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 November 2010):
 Wow her daughter is calling you daddy? That is messed up a child needs a father figure in her life that is going to be there steady for her, who is going to provide for her and also love her and be there for her. She should not be calling you daddy.
Ok so i understand that you both fell out, but you waited six weeks before contacting her again, and you asked her not to visit you again, therefore this is probably why she is taking her time trusting you again, as she needs a steady figure in her life not someone who is coming and going. Her daughter will end up messed up in the head over this, who's idea was it to tell her daughter to call you daddy? This is a joke. Either sort it out with her and be there for her and her daughter and when you have a disagreement dont disappear for 6 weeks, although i think it would be better if you both wanted this relationship to work out to move closer to each other and make it more permanent, take things slow with her give her the time she needs and let her begin to trust you again in her own time.
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