A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:two month ago i asked my boyfriend to move out even though we have a 2 year old little girl because he cheated on me we are still together and we still see each other on a weekend because we are tryin to make things work while we not living together the only problem is i dont want to be with him and i dont love him anymore, the only reason i meet up with him is so i can see his brother more often because i have really strong feelings for him and not my boyfriend. me and his brother get on alot better than what me and my boyfriend did and we have a good laugh together. a while ago we shared a bed when we had been out nothing happened though and ever since then is when i realised i have feelings for him. the feelings i have for him and the way i feel is the way i felt when i first met my boyfriend. i think he has feelings for me aswell but dont want to say anything to him incase i am wrong. i really think i love him but i dont know what to do. please can someone help me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): Babes, your situation is hard. Firstly your boyfriend cheated on you, that must have been humiliating and it probably killed a lot of your love for him. It's not nice when people betray us, especially since you and him have a little girl together. It must have broken your trust, and although you've probably tried to forgive and forget there must be a lot of pain and anger inside.
I noticed that you only felt this romantic feelings towards his brother after the affair, and after you two shared a bed. Could it be revenge rather than love talking? Could you be looking at the brother as a more innocent, trustworthy version of his brother? The brother is nice to you, and because he hasn't hurt you, he looks good compared to your current chap. But could it be just that you've transferred your feelings. You've known the brother for a long time, but your feelings didn't develop until you felt betrayed.
Leaving one brother for another is no good, especially since there is a little girl involved. This will cause a lot of pain in the family, and even though your guy cheated on you, you will be the person who gets all the blame. I suggest you try hard to put your feelings aside and concentrate on your current relationship. If you can't forgive your partner, then you two must break up and then you will go it alone as a single parent. I don't think you and the brother should get together, I think you may want him either for revenge, or just because your on the rebound. If it doesn't work between you and your guy, then don't be upset cause another guy will come along one day. If the brother is a decent brother, then he will turn you down and reject you and then you will feel humiliated and sad. Leave the guy alone, and try to work on your relationship, if you need to, then try to go to marriage guidance counselling, somewhere like "Relate". Single people, or couples can go there too. Leave it alone babes, it will get to messy, and your little girl will get confused. You are very young, their is plenty of time to build your relationship back to the way it was, or leave and find someone else to love. There are billions of guys in this world, choose any one of them, but leave the brother alone. You have the most to risk, and you are the one who will get hurt.
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