A
female
age
30-35,
*onfused_123
writes:Hi...I'm 14 and have never been in a proper relationship (basically i've never kissed a guy) I have "been out" with a few but those have only really lasted a few days becasue i got scared about it for some reason.Problem 1.I recently started to like this guy and found out he liked me. Only problem was that this guy who is apparently "in love" with me was on holiday and i felt awkward starting a realtionship with him while the other guy was on holiday. Also they're friends so i was worried about ruining their friendship. So i started feeling kinda awkward around the guy i liked because whether we were goin out was undecided. When he sent me a text saying how much he loved me I freaked out and told him i only liked him as friend because i didn't yet have those kind of stroung feelings for him. Does this mean I'm afraid of comitment? (though going out with a guy isn't really comitment anyway is it?). Or maybe I'm just not mature enough for a relationship?Problem 2. It's actually pretty simular to the last one. Like i said I'm 14 and have never kissed a guy. It's not that i couldn't as a few guys like me but I keep changing my mind about it. One second i want it to be special and passionate. The next i just think i should get it over with. It's kinda ironic how I'm holding backon my first kiss when one of my best friends is about to have sex with her boyfriend. It makes me feel pretty young to be honest. I know people say there's no pressure to get a boyfriend at my age but there really is...What should i do, most people on here have been kissed and know how special a first one can be. So should i wait or go out with the guy i was talking about before and make out with him (+ I heard that hes made out with someone before which really made me want to with him).Thanks to any amazing people who can be bothered to read all of this and help me out. =]Xxx
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female
reader, Confused_123 +, writes (13 October 2008):
Confused_123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou so much for the advice so far! It's already helped me abit. It's true i really do need to properly concider if i really do have feelings for him and so i'm not going to rush into anything yet. As for the kiss you're all right and it's probably best to wait for someone who i deffinately like. So i will wait. It's true though kissing does sound really fun and alot of people i know have already. As for Sex i haven't even concidered it as i
a) haven't kissed a guy yet and...
b) It's illegal and there's no way I am mature enough for it.
+ i really don't want to end up pregnant at 14, it would ruin my studies.
More advice always welcome.
Xxx
A
female
reader, Sega  +, writes (12 October 2008):
You sound like a very mature and special young lady. If I were you, I would wait before kissing or making out with anyone. I seem to know that this sounds like fun, but if you are not careful, then the consequences can be huge.
You could lose your reputation at school, and you don't want that. You could also lose the trust of your parents. Trust is hard to earn, and easy to lose.
Continue to be strong and to be special. Set yourself apart from what the other girls are doing. You have your entire life ahead of you.
Your virginity is very, very special and you want to save that for an extremely and very special and deserving young man.
Your parents should be very proud of you. They may not realize how great you are and how smart you are. Keep your head high...you don't need all the drama that sex can bring. You'll have the rest of your adult life for that.
And as an adult, there have been many, many times I have wished that I could have my innocence back.
Take care, and God bless you!! I will pray for your strength as you continue to grow into a beautiful young woman.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008): It sounds to me that you are confused, which is very normal, especially for someone your age. I think also think that you haven't chosen the right guys. If someone likes you, you should never date his friend unless he is okay with it, which you should ask him about. However, I believe that if they aren't very good friends at all then it should be okay to date him.
My advice to you to is to really ask yourself if you like this person. Give it A LOT of thought because you said early that you don't think you return strong feelings for him. And it is okay if you don't love him back, but it's not okay if you don't like him at all. So if you think that you do like him, go for it. But don't do it because you are pressured or because you want to keep up with your friends.
You are young, you have a lot of time. If you really want your first kiss to be special, you should be absolutely sure that you pick the right person to share it with.
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