A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and almost 2 months. In the beginning we completely fell in love with each other and had so much fun together. We first had sex together about 2 and a half weeks after we had started dating. We now live together in an apartment. We have talked about getting married and having children together and it is waht we both want. But I really feel like our relationship is nothing like it used to be. We argue and get frustrated with each other a lot. He never cleans up after himself and always wants to have sex. Every chance there is he will ask me if we can do it. I can not stand it anymore. I have tried in the past to tell him I don't want to have sex until we one day get married but he doesn't like that idea and always persuades me back into doing it. He is 19 and I am 18 and I would like to know how I can get him to respect my dicision to wait to have sex. Because that is the biggest thing with him, is that I don't feel respected when I decide something.What can I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): If he can't respect something that's important to you then show him the door. You shouldn't be even considering marrying or having children with a man who doesn't seem to care about what you want. Noone should be persuaded into having sex they don't want. You don't have to do anything you don't wnat to.
I agree with previous answer. If he's like this now he'll be a nightmare in 20 years time. Next time he tries to 'persuade' you or guilt trip you into having sex with him tell him to pee off! Harsh but it needs to be done.
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 And yeah, he may leave once you say no and he realizes you're not going to be walked all over...but so what...let him go...he's not the one for you.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (1 December 2009):
What you can do is stand up for yourself and don't have sex with him if you don't want to. So what if he wants it? You don't and that's that.
If you want respect, you need to be stronger and know how to assert yourself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): He's using you and you are foolishly playing along. I think you know this as well and you do not want to lose him so you keep giving in to his requests for constant sex. It's time for you to grow some spine.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (30 November 2009):
You moved in with him SUPER fast.
You may have mistaken the first rush of romance for true love.
The thing is that love doesn't make a good relationship. It takes time and effort on both sides.
If you think withholding sex will bring back the romance then give it a try and stop being so weak. Personally I think he'll use it as an excuse to dump you.
Happiness is more important than love and you need to get strong enough to get that straight in your head. If he's not up the job of being a decent boyfriend after only 2 months then he's going to be a hell of a lot worse in 40 years.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): stop giving in to him and stick to what you say!! if you don't, of course he's gonna carry on asking you for sex! he can't know you're being serious about it if you carry on doing what he wants. and if you want him to respect you more, you first need to learn to respect yourself
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