A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently accepted to myself that i am in fact bisexual, but haven't really figured out a way to tell my very very conservative family just yet. My question, however, is not really about this. A part of my acceptance of myself involves a girl. I recently started at a new college and have met a lot of new interesting people. One of them being A, she is like my total opposite, confident and I guess ‘out’ and comfortable with who she is. I really like her a lot and we get on really well. She knows about my new self discovery and has expressed a interest in ‘developing our friendship’. The only thing is I’m scared this will be too much for my family to handle on top of the news that im Bi. The second part of my dilemma is that an old guy friend, H, has also recently started talking to me again. In the past (like a year ago) he admitted he liked me but I was too shy (and was still dealing with some male trust issues) to start anything with him so I lied and said I didn’t like him. But now that we’re talking again it brings back the old feelings I had for him. But I don’t know how he feels now, he’s not really clear/ doesn’t just say it straight the way he always used to he drops little hints and references to the “old days before I broke his heart”.So do I see what happens with this new girl and try something as I know she likes me, because she said so. Or stay safe with my old friend H and keep my family and everyone happy, if he still wants to that is?I really hope someone can help me{sorry its long but i had to get it all down}
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, c_keller  +, writes (30 March 2010):
I believe that the only happiness you need concern yourself with is your own and that of whichever partner you choose. Life is hard enough dealing with your own feelings you can't always make everyone happy, your family loves you and they will understand, even if it's eventually. You are who you are and you can not deny a part of yourself to make others happy.
A
male
reader, The Gentle Man +, writes (30 March 2010):
 If you are just thinking of H as a safety net for your family, I would avoid that.
Your family will know you are bi when you tell them. The fact you quite possibly might end up with a girl is part of what they will need to accept. Now or later, one day you will end up with a girl and your family will need to accept that.
We can't make your mind up for you. Do what you believe will make you the happiest.
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