A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys. Im a virgin, my boyfriend isnt though. I've been with my boyfriend now for 5 months and we have tried to have sex a few times now. But I always get him to stop because... It hurts ^^; He tells me it's because im too tense. I don't feel tense, but im guessing I must be due to the pain. I know people say it hurts for your first time, but I want to know how I can relax :\ I never touched myself... That;s something I'm thinking might also be making me a little sensitive, but yeh.. I don't really know how to relax myself... Any help, tips or advice would be appreciated. Im getting frustrated now, and he probably is too! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): Foreplay. Try that.
Kiss each other, touch each other, get physical. When you're feeling more aroused then have sex.
A
female
reader, FluffyPie  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 You're not ready. Period.
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A
female
reader, Saamm +, writes (14 January 2011):
I would wait till you fully had sex because you have only been with him for 5 months what is something goes wrong and you end up getting pregnant? I’m a virgin as well and I’m 23 years old and I’m glad I have waited my ex tried to get me to have sex with him and I said no because that’s something I value so much that I only want it to be for one guy plus it didn’t feel right to my heart. My fiancé is not a virgin and he understands my values and I feel like I love him even more because he has been waiting for that moment for or more than 2 years!
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (14 January 2011):
 hi
sounds like you have gotten into a cycle of behaviour where you tried to have sex, it hurt, so you tensed up next time you tried, so it hurt again, and so on. not advocating the use of alcohol BUT i can tell you that it worked for me! i was a virgin but my boyfriend wasn't so he gave me a drink, not enough to get me off my head or anything, just to relax me a bit
xx
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A
male
reader, faenon  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 First few times will hurt naturally being a virgin in time you get used to the feeling and start to enjoy it more. In terms of relaxation maybe try to focus on the singularity of you and the boyfriend together and not focus on the pain if it is indeed hurting suggest him to be more gentle and go slower since its your first time going like vigorous bull at the gate if he is isn't helping you at all enjoy your first time.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 IF you're in love, then wait until the wedding night, you will relax and consumate your union just fine. Don't sweat the small stuff And it's ALL small stuff.
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