A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have not moved on from my ex boyfriend and it's been 2 years. Him and I were together for 4 years, from the time I was 20-24 years old. I'm not exaggerating when I say he was perfect for me. Him and I just had an amazing connection that I can't even explain. He knew exactly what to do to comfort me in hard times and make me smile. He was very supportive about my dreams and we had the same ideas on a future together. Him and I were just starting to try and get pregnant. I knew he would be a great dad as he was amazing with his niece and nephew. Things changed for the worst when he became really stressed at work and his parents were divorcing. He told me with this going on that he was depressed, was no longer happy in our relationship, and wanted to work on himself. So he broke up with me. I was so heartbroken that he gave up so easily. I was always hoping he would come back to me one day but he never did. I got the feeling that he just didn't really care about me anymore. We never talked again. He's been in a relationship now for a little over a year and she's pregnant with his baby. I have to say finding this out hurt me because him and I were trying for a baby at one point. I wanted a family and marriage with him. I know I need to move on but damn I miss him so much. He was a great guy and meant everything to me. We seemed like a really happy couple I still don't understand what went wrong.I've dated a few guys since him and it's just not the same. 2 were rude and the other 1 just had nothing in common with me. I've never had the feeling I had with my ex. How can I finally move on and be happy?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2016): I know exactly how you feel. I feel your pain. I felt the same about my ex. No one came close. I found it hard to date other guys as it was only he I wanted to be with. After time I finally linked with a friend I'd know for a while. We became close and had a child. Many years later my ex comes back into my life and the old feelings start again but it is clear he does not want to commit to me. He saw that I was happish and fairly sorted. I saw some regret in his eyes but that's what happens when you dont appreciate what you have.Dont waste as much time as I did on dwelling on him. Move on. Life is short. When he does come back into your life keep him as a friend only. I think its sad to once love someone and never see them again.You never know what the future may bring.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2016): For whatever reason he didn't feel the same as you. That's confusing and heart wrenching especially since things seemed to be going so well. And what seems like out of the blue he just split to never hear from him again. I'm just as baffled as you. Not even a hello or a merry Christmas. Based on these actions and how suddenly and callously he moved on, obviously he wasn't that perfect. Within a year of you two breaking up he was already involved with someone else. That's very soon and speaks volumes. The best thing you can do is accept the fact that he didn't love you back, he is not the one, find closure with it and be the best that you can be. Get beautiful and successful. Maybe one day he'll eat his heart out and by then you won't care anymore. Show him that you are fine and happy without him. He is not worth you crying or losing sleep or time over. And be careful who you confide in about your feelings for him. I'm assuming you may still have mutual friends and/or word gets back to him about how you feel about him. If he knows you are still hung up on him and missing him, he'll continue to take you for granted. You know why? Cause I guarantee you his life and his relationship is not even half as great as you think it is. And if you are sitting around moping over him, it shows him that your life must be even worse than his. If on the other hand he hears that you are doing well, looking great, feeling happy and his name never comes up, therefore you've moved on, it might pique his interest in you again. Suddenly you become interesting. Men and women dump great partners all the time. And then look back at some point and regret it. Don't take a break up personal. Be "the one that got away." "The one that got away" isn't sitting around two years later still moping over some guy who dumped her and impregnated another girl. "The one that got away" is out being happy and fabulous and is way too busy to be dwelling over the guy who dumped her two years ago. And who never even bothered calling ever again. Please. Time to move on. Be strong.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (7 January 2016):
 I am sorry to see that you are going through this. It is always hard when you think you've found the "one" and have it not work out.
That being said, your ex was not the "one" Obviously he was going through some tough times or maybe he was looking for an excuse to break up. Couples go through tough times throughout their relationship with one another. The strong ones work through it and support one another. Ones that aren't strong, falter and fail.
The reason why you haven't forgotten him is that every "flavor" of guy you've tried hasn't been palatable. Imagine going to the ice cream store and trying chocolate and thinking that is the best. You keep going back for chocolate, until suddenly they are sold out of it and you are stuck with say strawberry. A pale comparison to chocolate (at least in my opinion). You may even try vanilla, with the same result. You fondly recall the chocolate, even though you can't have it anymore.
What you haven't done is tried all the other flavors. There are a TON of great guys out in the world. As with any single person's toughest quest, is finding the right one. It is really tough out there.
The fact that you tried only 3 indicates to me you are hoping to have an instant bond with someone right away. That takes time, risk, energy and plain luck. I encourage you to go out on more dates -- eventually the numbers will work out in your favor. The more guys you get a chance to meet, the more likely you'll be able to find one that is a good match for you. Not all guys are cads and if you play the numbers game you will find your ice cream flavor that will easily surpass your "chocolate".
Good luck.
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