A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some help to get over the love of my life and move on. We've got such a complicated history. He always used to act as if he liked me but denied it, however there was a lot of problems back then. Then various things happened to suggest he did, he denied it to others, then for some random reason he started talking about me to others and it wasn't always good either. Either way we fell out 7 months later became good friends and weirdly got together and when we did he used to say things such as "so glad no ones around anymore to stop us" which naturally made me think he did like me. Either way we got together but he was always so shy, couldn't kiss me properly was nervous about holding my hand, we were more or less seeing each other rather than a full on relationship. Yet he's confident with other girls. He has no problem. But then we parted as he met a girl who wasn't from round here who he barely ever saw. When we spoke he said he could never figure out how to tell me he liked me but in the same respect at the end he didn't know how to tell me he did like me but didn't feel that way anymore. Throughout everything I've always tried to be friends even after that and hes always been the same, avoids me, makes excuses up asif to get away from me and doesn't make an effort to see me which has been going on long before we got together and I know for a fact it definately isn't because I like him because many people do. I never let it affect our friendship. However once when we were arguing on the phone (whilst he was still in a relationship with his gf) he was being defensive but then he finally cracked and said you have no idea how much i care about you, how i still think about you etc ... So i just don't know. Even after that he never made the effort to meet up with me and funnily enough he is a decent guy.Thing is I've always known that at some point he questioned his sexuality, but always said he likes girls and is straight which I believe he does but he hangs around with many gays who he knows from work so he can't exactlly help that and he said he doesn't know because he likes some guys but he likes girls. But that still doesn't have any relation to me because I think hes always felt that way, he probably is bi-sexual deep down but he says he defo fancies girls.I'm just lost I don't understand why he doesn't want to be a friend to me... Unless you lot have any ideas? Either way I need to get over him and move on but I feel like I can't. It doesn't feel like I've lost a friend or bf, it feels like I've lost a huge part of me because hes the only other person thats proper like me. We have same personality, interests, sense of humor, ways of thinking etc and none of my other mates do which is why I never wanted to not be friends but I don't understand why he doesn't. I go out with my friends but even that doesn't stop me from loving him I just want the pain to go away I've loved him for 4 years, I haven't had a great past and tbh he was the only think that made me happy. Anyway Please could you tell me how I can move on I hurt because of how I feel but then I'm lost without him..What is going through his head?
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female
reader, ImmortalPrincess  +, writes (23 June 2012):
 Have you tried talking to him and laying it all out there, telling him exactly how you feel? A lot of times, relationships that could really work, never have a chance because one or both people involved are afraid to admit their true feelings. It sounds to me like the two of you only danced around the idea of being a couple, but never really explored it.
I think the reason you're having trouble letting go is because there are feelings left unsaid. Tell him exactly how you feel, hold nothing back. At that point, if he can't return your feelings, then this was simply not meant to be.
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