A
male
age
51-59,
*ord Christopher
writes:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-wife-has-stopped-having-sex-with-me.html#provide_answerI need to know how to be a real man. Liked your response to Charles999 last year just read it today your right. I'm going through the same thing and I'm a big pussy about the whole thing you’re absolutely right about the hostage reference. I need to leave but I don't have the balls. My wife and I used to work together great we made lots of money together all tied up in real estate now so it hard to leave. Our properties make money but we're not rich living together only because of the money and 3 useless kids that she insisted we have. After the first one sex dwindled a bit after the second I just about had to beg for it. Now my life is just like the effeminate dude you gave advice to. I’m 6’1” 190 somewhat muscular in not bad shape. However my wife has gained 60 pound since we met, I gained 15 but you wouldn’t know while she is round and sex less. She won’t work out she’s tried every diet out there. Though I’ve never kicked her out of bed! This started when she nursed our kids I would sleep somewhere else because they kept me up I needed rest to get a good day at work. Now all I hear is how I didn’t help with the kids enough. I changed more ”F-king” diapers than any man I know. She’s making me really regretting having kids with her. I must admit lately I have been a little vindictive ex: I don’t want to work for no sex why should I go to work and come home to an uncaring sexless attitude if I touch her she rolls her eyes and says “What are you horny?” O I forgot to say she pulls away then says whatever to piss me off. This does nothing but piss me off to the highest level. I guess nobody told her that men are horny all the time. She's also Jewish and really smart actually scary smart and I don’t trust her anymore. I just need to leave before something happens that I regret. I don't know where to start I don't know what to do I'm an invisible slave for her now.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2010): Oh dear, "useless kids that she insisted we have". You sure are a loving father. Dont hate your kids just because your wife decided to stop having sex with you after they were born, it's not your kids fault. They are only guilty of being born, they didnt ask for it. Thats so unfair to them.
And no not all men are horny all the time, there are mutliple women on here who complain about their husbands never wanting sex with them anymore either, so this isn't just a male problem. Its a problem with aging and having different sex drives and what not.
Clearly she is using your kids against you, succeeding in you not wanting to have any care for them. I say shame on you for dragging your kids in as an extension of your wife's treatment of you.
And to finish it off you think that because you work hard you deserve sex, like sex is something she has to pay you with. Now that is just b*ll and you know it. You and your wife have a serious issue about the two of you being spiteful towards one another, and I will not say that a divorce might not be for the better. But do not make this about something that it is not about. It is not about your kids. She didn't give birth to them to punish you or to get away from having sex with you. She married you because she loves you and she wanted children with you because she loves you.
Now that love has gone and I pray you will get a better relationship with your children. I don't care what your wife thinks of you as a father, its what you think yourself that matters.
As for you wife, you and her have a problem, and thats it. Its not about kids, its not about how you "didnt cotnribute as a father" when they were small like she says. Its not about any of that. Its about the two of you not having respect for each other any more, not having love and intimacy, and her hurting you. Her being Jewish is of very little relevance as well (Im sorry I just dont see how thats relevant, if it actually is then explain how).
If you want a divorce then go for it. Don't sit put just because it's secure. Security is not much compared to all the hurt you get.
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