A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have just come out of a lesson long term relationship(8 years). My ex is older than me by 15 years and we barely ever had sex, or even kissed for that matter! We certainly never kissed with tongues!My problem is that I have lost all confidence. Before we met I felt young and carefree, sexy and confident. Now I feel hagged and out of practice.There is a man I have the serious hots for, a serious crush i would say and I have no idea how to act or let him know that I like him.How do I go about feeling confident again? And feminine at that!
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male
reader, The unstable entrepenour  +, writes (26 November 2016):
I feel you - I just got out of a long term as well, though not as long as yours (2 years). It hurts, but you gotta move on. Speaking as a young guy here, I'd say figure out what it is you want. You mentioned you guys didn't have any intimacy. Did that bother you? If it did, go and find yourself someone more passionate that'll show you they like you. Dress yourself up and go clubbing, sign up on Tinder, and see how many guys are interested. When you feel wanted again, your confidence will make it's way back :)
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 November 2016):
 I am sorry that there was no affection in your relationship. I doubt age had anything to do with it though, maybe you both where just not sexually compatible.
If there is someone you like then that is a good focus. There is no reason why you cannot be sexy and confident. Nothing much has changed in the eight years am sure, you have just got yourself in to a rut. Take it in small steps. Tell yourself daily you are sexy. Build up your confidence by taking new hobbies or joining chat groups.
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (23 November 2016):
How do you know the guy you have the hots for
. Little info would help there to maybe help you gain bit of confidence
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (23 November 2016):
 Find someone with a gentle manner, and by the way not all older men have given up sex. Sometimes it's the opposite, so don't rule anyone out. Often an older guy can be more patient, considerate and understanding.
Let your natural feelings guide you. They won't let you down. You are still the same wonderful person you were before this knock back.
Make sure you pamper yourself a little: a new wardrobe, make up and hair-do. After all, as they say in the advert, you deserve it.
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