A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I appreciate you taking the time to read this.My grandmother died recently and the funeral is coming up. The thing is I'm so nervous.... I was very close to her and I'm scared I may cry uncontrollably or pass out and make a fool of myself... My grandmother was very much loved do I know the church will be packed and just thinking about all the people being there scares me. I'm an anxious person anyway and I know I will end up having a panic attack on the day.Also this is my 1st family member I have buried and have never walked behind a coffin before...Can anyone advise me how to ensure I don't pass out or panic. I avoid going to church usually because of it being busy but I can't on this occasion. I am a catholic and the mass will be about 1 hour...Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): You could always sit at the back of the church and do your own thing, i am sure your Grandmother would understand. you could maybe try and think of your Grandmothers funeral as a celebration of a long well lived life and feel proud that you were part of it. Can i also add that there is nothing wrong with crying and if thats how you feel do so.
I am sorry for your loss and hope all goes well. Also humour can help 'so long s you don't faint at a grave side you'll be fine'.
Spunky monkey
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Have a box of Kleenex with you, and a friend or your mother to go up with you when you view her for moral support. It's definitely ok to cry at a funeral, it's expected. Trust me you won't be the only one there shedding tears. Look at the picture board, it will definitely make you smile. Take note of those pictures and remember her as she was through your fond memories, not in that casket. She never died because she lives on through your memories.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (18 October 2010):
 I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad nearly 9 years ago, and i remember his funeral like it was yesterday. He was a much loved Doctor, so alot of his patients turned up to pay their respects. I remember the church being packed with people. I spent most of the service trying to focus on not completely breaking down. Of course i cried during the service, but like you i was worried that i would be a complete mess.If you are walking behind the coffin, walk with someone who you can hold onto if your legs start to feel weak. Don't be afraid of crying, it's best to let it all out, and believe me you won't be the only person crying.Talk with your family, let them know your concerns, they will be there to support you with your anxieties on the day. As another poster said, may sure you go and say goodbye, closure is the most important thing you need to have xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): Hello
Obviously you need closure so going to the funeral is a must. Im very sorry for your loss btw. Of course we all deal with death in certain ways and it can be very emotional. Ive learned to remove that however by making sense of why people pass away when they do. When you learn to put it in a more logical perspective, you can become more at ease. For example: My aunt about a week ago passed away from a 30 year battle of breast cancer. She had tumors growing in her stomach that were too aggressive for treatment. I look at it as God didnt want her to suffer anymore and survive this so He took her life. She was in horrible pain, suffering, and very very uncomfortable with life. Knowing that shes resting in peace without anymore pain helps me feel a little more at ease. My intention here is to clearly help however I know this can be a sensitive topic so if I come across in any negative light to you, I will apologize as Im only trying to help u cope. Best to you always.
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