A
female
age
36-40,
*randym
writes:I need help by someone who can give me tips on how to forgive my boyfriend. Hes cheated on me and lied to me multiple times. I dont trust him anywhere he goes and i cant get the picture of him and another girl out of my head. Ive tryed talking to him but it seems to hurt me more. i want to get past it and be with him. I need some help. Please give me some tips on how to learn how to forgive him.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): You're having such a hard time forgiving him because you shouldn't be forgiving him.
You can keep dumping your life & energy & love into this guy all you want, but it won't make him into something he's not. He's not faithful.
A
female
reader, Thalia  +, writes (23 August 2008):
reconsider you options and your motives. If you dont trust him, then how will it ever work? If he has continuously cheated on you, then what makes you think he wont continue? Love you are so much better than him. Boy it hurts but look at the future and the bright side, there will be other guys and youre young. Your life is just starting! Live it and learn from it. That's what it's all about.good luck :)
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (22 August 2008):
 Excellant advice from the other two aunts. My inclination would be that there is little hope for this relationship and that staying with him is becoming a kind of exercise in emotional self-harm. By all means forgive him but you have to seriously think about whether this is the right relationship for YOU.
If he cant at least explain why then it is perfectly clear to me that he has no intetion of changing his ways and is happy to be like he is; maybe losing you would be the jolt he needs to change his ways but ultimately this must be doing you alot of damage and I dont think it's worth it.
I am sure he does have issues that need resolving but you staying with him wont help that; at the end of the day its going to make him think its ok to carry on as he is; have his cake and eat it. Good luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): forgive him? why not! do so and forget him! you have no future with this kind of guy! i'm sorry if it hurts!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 August 2008):
 I can't give you the help you want. My grain of sand can only be to ask you to think why you would want to be with someone who has cheated on you multiple times and won't even discuss why.
Forgiveness is a good thing, and forgiving relieves your soul. However, staying with someone no matter what is a different thing. So far, the message you're sending is that he can get away with cheating. He stays with you because you're valuable, but he wants to have other girls as well. I think a person always needs to make it clear that a serious relationship excludes other people.
My heart is with you.
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