A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in my early 20's and infatuated by this guy at work who is older than me. (late thirties) He's gorgeous for his age , rough,masculine and he's such a laugh...... I think about him day and night , dream about him. The sexual tension between us could be cut with a knife I could literally leap on him I feel it from him too... we are always chatting to each other in and out of work hours he always starts the conversations, he's very touchy feely with me, he's jokey and flirty with me and always trying to impress me. But he's never asked about my personal life and I don't ask about his.. I need this crush to end now before i do something stupid and I don't know how It won't work and I can't put my heart through the ache of it and gossip spreads too quickly around the office I do not want a reputation. How can I focus my mind off him?I think he is probably only be after sex because I look in the mirror and wonder why a guy like him would want someone that looks like me for more than that..as I look young for my age . I've been hurt too much and I tend to get too attached to people. I don't even care about the age gap with him, he's lovely and I wish I could tell him how much without him freaking out and leaving the country!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2013): Hi , this situation hasn't progressed we still flirt but nothing serious. I think it was all in my head to be honest. We still email and talk and I enjoy chatting to him and we plan to go out again, but after reading things, if he did want me he would have done something by now!
he could be playing a game as its what older guys like to do. Someone told me that he could be put off by the age difference so if that's the case it isn't worth it.
A woman can always dream though :) in another life maybe. It's shame as I wish I could tell him how lovely he is and I think we'd make a good couple.
Thanks for your advice!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2013): I disagree with all of those answers. Dating a co-worker is not always "mixing business with pleasure". I met my wife on the job, got married, and we have two beautiful daughters. It depends on the persons involved. If you both are single and interested in each other, give it a try and if it doesn't work, you both should be mature enough to handle it and continue to be co-workers. Always think things through and you won't do anything stupid. In fact, pray about it and you will then know what to do.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (24 March 2013):
 Give the guy a fair chance. Just bc he creates sexual tension doesnt necessarily mean hes after just sex it could mean hes trying to create attraction which he certainly has. Men (and ive done this) only after I Tusually take a girl to the bedroom right after sexual tension is created. They dont build it up. Ask him out. And dont ask about a GF just ask n go with the flow.
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A
female
reader, chinjes  +, writes (24 March 2013):
My dear, d question is whether dis guy knows u hv dis crush on him? If he knows dat might be his reasons of being feely touchy or flirtin wit you. U see I think he only wants to take the advantage of you, sleep with and feel like a superman. If he is in his late thirties, he shuld be acting more matured and come out straight wit you and stop dat nonsense act with u. Better stay away from him for your own good
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 March 2013):
 is there a rule against dating co-workers?
is he married or otherwise taken?
if no to both I see no problem with getting to know him better....
if the age doesn't bother you... ask him to go to lunch one day... see what happens outside of the office... you may find out that once you get to know him more the crush will vanish...
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A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (23 March 2013):
 I don't think it's possible to force yourself to stop being attracted to someone. Physical attraction isn't like having a cold, so we can't give you any home remedies to squash it.Do you always have to act on your crushes? If I acted on every crush I've ever had, I think that my number of sexual conquests would be at least three digits long.Your best bet is to, rather than try to stop crushing on this guy, put yourself in situations where you can meet cute guys who aren't coworkers. When you find a new guy to pursue, this one will fade off your radar.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2013): I had this terrible situation not so long ago, and Itended badly. We both lost our jobs.There is a reason they say don't mix business and Pleasure, Try and get out and about as much as possible and keep busy. Time can heal many things xx
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 March 2013):
 As long as it remains a crush, you won't do something to actualize the fantasy, like hanging out and letting him take you somewhere. I find masturbation as a very healthy outlet. Crushes fill your imagination. It gives you a reason to wake up in the morning. All my crushes in the past did not amount to any relationships in real life, but I am glad I've had them. They will always be in my sweet memory bank.
You are single and have desires. Your coworker just brought out that side of you. You should find a guy outside of work to date. Any kind of relationship has a chance of hurting you but at least there will be no gossip.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (23 March 2013):
 Trying to stay away is the only way I really know, accepting it would never work - maybe writing down the pros and cons of a relationship with him. Putting things down on paper can really help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2013): Girls tend to put too much emphasis on sexual tension. It really doesn't mean that much for a relationship. Sexual tension is easy to have, hormones do that job for you. I mean, it's nice of course, but guys feel sexual tension to almost every younger woman, especially this much younger.You said you r in your early 20 s, but your age bracket shows 26-29, it's actually mid- late twenties. So, if you are 26, and he's 38-39, it's not that huge age difference. It's not like you are 19 and he is 45. To have intimacy with someone at work is never a good idea. Guys talk as much as us girls even more. If a guy looks a macho man after he slept with you, you will look like an easy lay, if there will be no relationship following.
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