A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, I am hoping that someone out there can give me advice on the following,I am a 50 year old male. I have had a pretty dodgy past. From about the age of 20 I started to dabble with drugs, on hindsight I am shocked by how quickly I went from smoking a bit of weed to full blow opiate dependency. It all went downhill rapidly. I started with cannabis and very quickly went through the A to Z of drugs. My life was difficult. I came from a broken family, I committed crimes. I like to think that I have always had my morals. I committed crimes but I never hurt or stole from an individual person. I never stole from someone,I was never a burglar, or committed theft from an individual. I understand that there is no such thing as a victimless crime. The majority of my crimes were drug related, I would never mug a little old lady. I stole drugs by forging doctors prescriptions etc. I am now clean but am basically unemployable. Jobs are extremely hard to come by if you have no references, no experience, no qualifications and any job advertised always ask if you have a criminal record. If you say yes, you wouldn't get an interview, if you say no and then get found out , well thats an automatic sacking offence. The reason I ask for help and advice here is because I am very lonely and isolated. I have no true friends because I dont get the opportunity to meet people. I have tried to help myself by attended Alcoholic Anon, Narcotics anon to name a few. I find religion fascinating NOT because of the belief in God. I have very strong anti religion views. Over the many years I have seen so so many addicts die from their addictions, end up in prison or they find God. I love the way religions have helped my friends get clean. BUT it really isn't for me ! I have tried to get into it but I cant accept the doctrine. It seems so ludicrous to me. E.G some bloke called Jesus died on the cross for my sins. No disrespect to religious people but its just not for me. I've dabbled with Christianity etc and I met lovely people. I was regularly invited to breakfasts, meals and social occasions. I am desperate to meet people and to have a social life and from what I've witnessed people that have a faith seem to be really nice n loving people. Remember I come from a dark background. A dog eat dog world. I am very suspicious of people that offer me help, food etc because in my life that is suspicious. They are out to rip you off etc. I would love to meet the sort of people that are Christians etc but not worship something that I cant see etc. I am seeking religious morals etc but without a god. I hope that I have managed to get my problems across. I do not want to believe in a book written 2000 years ago, I dont want to pray but give me the christian lifestyle, the morals, the social side etc, everything but the God, I will be happyThank you so much if you read this, thank you even more if you understand my point and where I am coming from.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2016): Thank you so much everybody. Such great advice and many good suggestions x
A
female
reader, Keeley345 +, writes (25 May 2016):
Oh! Also in terms of being unemployable, if you wanted to be a drugs mentor or speaker for example, you'd need some qualifications. There are colleges as well as the open university, where you can do the right courses to help you. Funding is free to the unemployed e.g if you're receiving JSA, housing benefit or universal credit. You can study part time and keep your benefits.The plus side is you need no crb checks to do a course and your tutors, teachers etc can offer references when you're finished. You don't have to mention your criminal history or anything else unless you want to. Every cloud and that. So no fear of rejection like when you're applying for jobs.Once you get qualifications, you're on your way!!! But the social media part I suggested would be great to start with now. Good luck mate!
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A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (24 May 2016):
 Hi
You don't have to follow some organised religion like Christianity or Islam to achieve a sense of faith or belief in a higher power.
Do you want to belong to a group or church and mix with the people you find there if you don't believe in your heart what they do?
You can believe or even know a God for want of a better word exists or that something in the universe guides us and gives us hope and support and comfort . I think millions of people have a belief system in the world and a great many have never been to a place of worship.
Spirituality and religion are very different and yet the same.
Read some Eckhart Toller
Any chance you could work for yourself...maybe buying or selling something?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2016): The Unitarians https://www.unitarian.org.uk might offer something for you to explore as you seek meaning, purpose and friendship. Check out what it means here https://www.unitarian.org.uk/pages/unitarianism-explained
Good job getting sober! Well done.
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A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (24 May 2016):
 Morals are a certain set of beliefs which you, yourself, is convinced that they are the most superior rules of behavior. God cannot convince you of anything - be it by sight, touch or any which way. In fact, if you read the Old Testament, in his first encounter with a human, God did not "convince" Abraham to believe in him - Abraham willingly accepted to do so out of his own conviction that the morals and the Word he heard is true and of God.
So nobody here can give you a box with morals in it which you can nicely open it up an - bam! - you are a moral man. Nor can you nicely delineate such that you use God's gifts without accepting that he is the giver.
If you are seeking a profound change inside you, you first have to want it, and be open to accepting whatever truth it may be - invisible or otherwise - that will be the agent of your change. However, demanding change with a prejudicial will that your post exhibits about God is actually a sign that you really do not wish to leave your cocoon even though you say yourself that it is corrupt.
To change, you have to make your will to want it. That is inside you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2016): Through your life in the underworld, you've conditioned your beliefs such that they make you feel and behave distrustfully towards acts of kindness, it is the same conditioning through belief in God and following his prescribed type of life, that will condition the belief such that it you behave trustingly towards kindness. Therefore, there is no way to acquire Christian virtues unless you genuinely believe and live the life Christian behavior prescribes.
What you are seeking is similar to wanting to acquire a sensation of fullness without eating any food. It is impossible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2016): You can ask your AA friends if they know anyone who hires felons or is willing to give you a chance. Also, you can ask around about anything you can help out with like yard work or dog sitting etc. Also, ask your PO (or former PO), drug counselor, or whoever saw your progress if you can use them as a reference or if they know who would give you a chance. You can look online for businesses that hire ppl in your situation.
Also, you can ask about/look online for a "letter of explanation" where you say something like "you may notice that I have a record. I have paid/am paying restitution. I have completed rehab (or whatever) and have been clean X amount of time. In speaking to my character/job references you will see that (good traits). I ask that you give me a chance at Y company"
This is why fellowship at AA and places of worship are great, you are less isolated, you have fellowship, you can build character references and possible job offers EVEN if you 'only' mowed grass or VOLUNTEERED on a committee. I don't know if you have a Goodwill where you are but I'm sure you have similar! Many times they have job coaches who will HELP you find work. Or, if you've completed probation/drug & alcohol classes, whoever worked with you might help you find a job coach.
It comes with time, I can at least help you that much. As for religion, in AA/NA, all they ask is you find a Power Greater than Yourself (that isn't you) to rely on. It doesn't have to be a religion. The PROGRAM can be your higher power, there's no rule that you have to be a Christian.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (24 May 2016):
You say GOD is not for you, yet you wonder why your life is a mess??? Let me show you something that GOD gives us, and when we ignore it, or flat out do not believe in it, then you see how your life goes from bad to worse real fast. This is from the very Bible which is not for you, as you say... Take note...GOD gives wisdom, and when you abandon GOD...look what happens to you in the end...
"Wisdom takes care of those who look for her; she raises them to greatness. Loving her is loving life itself; rising early to look for her is pure joy. Anyone who obtains Wisdom will be greatly honoured. Wherever he goes, the Lord will bless him. Wisdom's servants are the servants of the Holy One, and the Lord loves everyone who loves her. Those who obey her will give sound judgements; those who pay attention to her have true security. Put your trust in Wisdom, and you will possess her and pass her on to your descendants. At first, Wisdom will lead you along difficult paths. She will make you so afraid that you will think you cannot go on. The discipline she demands will be tormenting, and she will put you to the test with her requirements until she trusts you completely. Then she will come to you with no delay, reveal her secrets to you, and make you happy. But if you go astray, she will abandon you and let you go to your own ruin."
Yes Jesus died for our sins, to give us a chance at a better life. But what do we choose to do with that chance? Exactly what you did with yours. Why?? It is much more easy to do the wrong things than the right things. Why don't you want GOD after? Because your life is so full of shame, and you know what GOD stands for, you are too ashamed to come before GOD to let him see you as you are.
The bloke Jesus said this himself...
"The Son of Man (Jesus) came to seek and to save the lost.”
He is not looking for the rich and well off, but for those who have abandon wisdom, morals, and to will to do what is right, and save them from this world, and themselves.
You cannot go to GOD unless you accept Jesus first. Just as you cannot have a peaceful life, unless you accept and live by GOD's wisdom. Run from it, and end up back into your old life. Embrace it, and watch your life change to something amazing.
I know...I have been down that wrong road as well. Not with drugs, murder, or stealing. But let's say my pass was nothing to be proud of.
Do not blame drugs or a broken family for your mistakes. If YOU were wise, you would not have lived that life. GOD will let this world bring you to your knees, just to show you he is the only true way out.
Oh I pray not just everyday, but every chance I get, for him to keep me out of my past life style, and keep giving his wisdom to me, so I can live a better and happier life. So far, life is better and happier. :)))
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2016): coming to God is by faith, not by sight. some times we have to fall so low that we have nothing to do but look up, and let God pick us up.
some times we have to come to the end of our self to look up and seek God that we can't see but come to by faith.
God is there for the cast under, the seeking, and even the running away.
when you hit rock bottom and have no where to look, but up Jesus is there to pick you up, if you will call out to him. he is there for you.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (24 May 2016):
 I found that Osho really helped me a lot. There's a 1000 page Book of Secrets. Osho said it does not matter if you are a Christian, Hindu or Muslim, or homeless. You are on your own and you have to find yourself. The book does not tell you to believe in anything but there are exercises to help you feel the truth yourself.
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