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I need someone to depend on, But dont want them taking over my life, any thoughts ?

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Question - (26 February 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 February 2007)
A male age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am in need of someone who understands me and will stand by me in face of uncertainity. Currently there is no one in my own family. The only person i have some support from is my cousin. Another problem is, whoever has been a support to me in such an uncertainity in past, i tend to forget them or just ignore them once i am through with the situation. I have been doing this in past, but don't want to keep repeating it, or else i will be left with none other than myself to depend on. The fear that keeps me at bay from people who have been a support to me is that they might want me to overcompensate by giving in to all of their demands, just because they had been a help to me. So i just try to distance myself to the extent that i had never known them.

I want to maintain a healthy relation with these people but also want them to understand that they don't own me because they helped me in time of crisis.

Any thoughts on how can i achieve this?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007):

You need someone to depend on what? So rather than depend on yourself, you want to rely on others? Some clarification would be nice.

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A female reader, nicola79 United Kingdom +, writes (26 February 2007):

nicola79 agony auntMaybe get a penpal or go into a chat room,you will meet people who are like you and understand you,this will also help you when you decide to trust someone.

Many people dont want to run your life they are just concerned about you and want to make sure you are ok.

Try to trust,its so nice to have someone there for you. I hope everything works out for you. xxxxxxxxx

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