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female
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anonymous
writes:I was just wondering what the readers of dear Cupid thought about something that happened to my friend a little while ago. It has puzzled me greatly over who was in the right or wrong. A friend of mine was really popular in the centre of her group at school - all the boys liked her, and she was really bright and did really well. This boy had a major crush on her and asked her out several times (the ppl are around 15 - 17 years old). She really liked him as a friend but wasnt attracted to him in that way. After being pressured into dating him by other people in the group she started to go out with him. Very soon she became very unhappy and he completely drained her of happiness. He swore at her in front of friends and seemed to constantly want to hurt her (not ever physically but emotionally) At the same time she became very difficult towards him - everything he did to her was 'wrong' in her sight and she never cut him any slack. He was very depressed because of a terrible home situation involving drugs that he lived him and she just could not understand his situation. She thought she had had an early miscarriage with him (although the doctors were never 100% sure as it was so early), but this made her very depressed and even more clingy and needy. She was really hurt because he wouldnt give her any of the support she needed, he wouldnt go the doctors with her, he began to lie to her friends about going and shortly after they ended the relationship. She was so angry with him for doing this she told his friends how he had treated her and were furious with him. The boy began to get some of her female friends on board (who all fancied him) to spead lies about her, to say that she had made the whole micarriage thing up to get attention. Since then the group of friends has totally split down the middle, the boy is now in a relationship with one of the girls previously very close friends. The school at which they all go to had to get involved to break up the fighting - they see the situation from the girls point of view as the boy and his new girlfriend have been reported of bullying the girl. The girl has lost all her friends as a result and is in the process of forming new friendships. She met someone who since has made her very happy. I just wanted to know what people thought of this school drama and who they thought behaved badly.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your opinions! I forgot to say that the girl did try to help a lot with his family situation. She tried to encourage the boy and his mother to seek help against the step father. He didn't really appriciate any of the help that was offered - even though she did go to a lot of trouble.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): What I think is just this: Why does a girl sleep with a boy, even she is not sure about him?????
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female
reader, beanie0216  +, writes (12 April 2007):
 I think both were in the wrong. If she was pregnant, the boy should always be there to go with her to the doctor or support her in any way she needed. And he shouldn't have treated her badly by making her depressed and making her feel bad emotionally.On the other hand she should have been there to support him with his family issues. A boyfriend and girlfriend are supposed to be there for each other. They were basically forced to go out, which was stupid, because they didn't really like each other. There was no communication, and that is what you need in a relationship. Good to hear everything is straightened up now. :o)
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female
reader, Sparkles +, writes (12 April 2007):
Firstly i think i must say that after reading what you said neither group were right or wrong, they both had their issues and i think there actions are justified by these. It must be very difficult to be in the middle of these two people but i think that you need to try and be friends with them both without getting involved in the middle of the relationship crisis. I think that it is extremly important that you speak to your girl mate and reassure her that you do trust her on her misscarrige and that you are there for her. I think you need to let the boy know that you understand what he has done and why and that you do not judge but if he ever cared about this girl he needs to realise how he has and is continuing to effect her. It might take time but im sure that if you talk to them and make them both realise that they do care bout each otheror did, they can at least be civil for everyone elses sake. Good luck.
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