A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for 14 years and my husband started behaving different with me since 2 years. First of all he has many woman friends, and he is always on the phone, skype, and FB with them. Last year a female friend of him thanked me on my FB page for the chocolates I had send her (his foreign female friend).I didn’t know anything about that and he had send her the same chocolates he gave me for Christmas gift. Also, he was all the time telling her she was gorgeous, pretty and delicious in her FB page. I wrote on her FB that I wasn’t liking that from him, and he got very upset with melon the other hand his female friend wrote that she was having fun with all of that.I told him to stop, but he didn’t. I told him that if he wanted to be with me he had to stop being friends with her and the other ones too and he told me that I could decide to divorce but he wouldn’t stop being friends with them.Every time we go to a party he leave me alone and go talk with his friends.So, since two years now he is strange.I am travelling now and I called him at the house and nobody answered. I called his cell phone and he was so worried and giving me explanations that he called his friend and asked her to sleep in her house because he had to work closer to her house the next day. He was so nervous. I felt something is going on, but that woman is married and she is my friend too.I feel bad because I don’t trust him anymore, he is behaving very differently. I´d like to have some help. Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2013): This applies to men and women... If your not strengthening your relationship, it's slowly withering away. The rate it withers depends on available options. The internet increases your exposure to partners who can supplement passion, attention, and intimacy that often gets ignored in the daily routine. Has he ever had a connection with you or is it lost? It appears he values his other connection. It could only work if both of you have a common goal. Start again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2013): He basically said if you don't like what he is doing then you can divorce him.
And you said if he wants to be with you he needs to stop it with these other women.
Basically he has already made his choice. He does not want to be with you. Or rather he doesn't want it enough.
Why are you still hanging around? He is not going to stop with his women friends and here isn't anything you can do to make him so you either need to leave him or accept it. And the better option is to leave him.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (15 October 2013):
 So your husband is openly having intimate conversations over FB and Skype, telling another woman how gorgeous and pretty she is, sending her chocolates and making excuses about sleeping at her house?...
and if you want it to stop you got to divorce him???
Lady your goose is pretty much cooked...if he hasn't had sex already, it ain't that far off and he doesn't give a damn if it hurts you or not.
Honestly there is on so much smoke a person can throw up before you realise you are being taken for a fool.
You can't trust him...nobody would trust him when he behaved like this!!...it's blatantly disgusting and disrespectful to you and seriously, there isn't much you can do but divorce him.
And the other woman saying she's 'just having fun with him'...how disgusting is she!!!
You learn that some women do not care whose husband they steal, they have no respect and no morals but one things true...if you cheat with another cheat, sooner or later that's going to come back and bite you in the ass!
Don't play the fool, trust your gut and get a divorce lawyer.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your help. Yes,he didnt chose me and never will,because he rather be with his friends. He was extremly worried and nervous when he was in the cell phone,so I do believe he had something going on.I can not believe him anymore,so for this the relationship is over. He said to me also,before I traveled, that he didn´t commit to me in our relationship and he was thinking that he would commit this time.Well,I do not believe he will,nor he want to. He doesn´t care about me at all.Now he called saying that he misses me and loves me,but I do beleive he is just missing someone in the house to be with him.Thank you so much.I do beleive that this relationship is over a long time now.Thanks again for your kindness in helping me.I do appreciated that.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (14 October 2013):
You told him it's either you or his female friends. Unfortunately he didn't chose you, yet you stayed with him, essentially giving him permission to continue doing whatever he wants.
So if you really want him to stop, you're going to have to leave him. He may try to stop by promising to change, once he realizes that you're not just threatening. Whether you stay is up to you, but his behavior is suspicious for sure.
He should have asked you if it was okay if he sleeps at his "friends" house. The fact that he didn't and was nervous isn't a great sign, although it's possible (but not likely) that he didn't mention it because he knew you'd get upset and since he wasn't doing anything wrong he didn't want to hurt you.
At the very least you need to confront him about his behavior, especially his sleep over. Pay attention to the way he reacts. If you're not satisfied, ask your friend. If they apologize a lot without actually admitting anything bad happened, they cheated. But if your questioning upsets them because of your lack of trust then they might be telling the truth.
Honestly, whether or not he's cheating is only part of the issue. The other part is that he doesn't seem to care that his behavior hurts you. THAT is just as bad as cheating!
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