A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm sure this isn't the usual question due to the amounts of sex and relationship questions but I don't know who to turn to.I'm 17, though i'm more mature than most teenage girls my age. The last thing i'm looking for is pity.I've had a pretty rough life. I've been child abused by my stepmother. My mam was a alcoholic and I was neglected whilst she spent her days and nights drunk and with men. I basically looked after myself. My stepmam made my life a living hell. Beating me senseless and making sure I wanted to die. I did at one point. She has two sons with my dad, 12 and 10. (PS, i moved to my dads at the age of 11 when things got too much)When I finally told the truth to my dad about her after 15 long years she denied it. Now she has turned my brothers against me and I haven't seen them for 2 years, and 4 days a week I have to find a place to stay on a night as they stay with my dad. Last November my mother died and I hadn't seen her since I was 11. I was so frightened of her as a child due to what my step mother said about her to me.I went to see her body (She died from the alcohol) and it hurt. My mam was my best friend when I was younger. I'm not sure what to do.I feel alone. I hardly see my dad, can't see my brothers, my mother was adopted so no idea about 'real family' to help me feel close to her and my mother is gone. Should I seek help from a councilor? Thanks :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you!
Very wise.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionVery wise information!
Thank you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): "The last thing i'm looking for is pity."Good. Sorry you've been dealt such a sucky life, beyond my imagination to even contemplate what you've been through, but all you can do is make best effort to overcome rotten circumstances. I will say those who can overcome adversity often much better prepared than pampered slackers like I was. You're a kid who has had to raise yourself, adults have not only let you down, they've used you as weapon in own personal agendas.I'm an old movie fan (old as in movies made when my parents were kids, early 1930's) and one of my favorite female stars had a very tough childhood, mother dead and father gone by age five, bounced from foster home to foster home, quit school at 14 to work full time, nightclub showgirl at 16, got lucky break when cast in bit part in a New York stage play, suddenly promoted to lead role and was successful Braodway actress by 19 just at the time silent films giving way to sound films (late 1920's), any actor with any stage experience suddenly in demand,By 1930 USA in midst of Great Depression when many suddenly experiencing great loss and hardship, films of period reflect times, heroines often portrayed as smart tough self-reliant women who go for direst poverty to incredible wealth, since actrss had lived emotions and situations of her characters, Depression audiences responded and she enjoyed wealth and fame in time of hardship, self-educated businesswoman who took artistic and financial control of her career, never dependent on one movie studio, always made sure she had options other stars didn't think to request, enjoyed long and successful career into old age, always said her tough childhood gave her the opportunity to dream, and she dreamed big, but backed it up with smarts and hard work and professionalism and class and generosity (big stars who had worked with her as newcomers always spoke highly of her, she could spot talent and often suggested young actors get bigger billing or more lines).Not saying you'll be rich and famous, but what you have is opportunity to invent yourself, no past ties to define you, there will come a time when you are 25 and 40, you must start to prepare now. "Should I seek help from a councilor? Very wise idea. Nothing wrong with you, it's your surroundings you need to understand and overcome. You've learned one hard lesson: don't depend on adults to behave like responsible adults. Too many opt to take easy way out, choose themselves, pick on defenseless, take sides, generally be a-holes and let you suffer for it. You've learned at 17 what I didn't know at 45, (but soon did, and oh boy was I screwed over).Those who succeed in life are those who best overcome adversity, and that's a skill at which you've plenty of opportunity at which to become very accomplished. Lessons learned from stepmother and her ilk will be repaid in kind years from now when you encounter similar dirtballs and wipe the floor with them. But you'll also have spirit and generosity to help others in equally downtrodden circumstances. All I can say is I believe God has a plan for each of us, unfolds very slowly and mysteriously but everything happens for a reason, though not usually in ways you expect(that's why He's God, always pulls the bait and switch). Chance encounters and random events suddenly resurface years later in unexpected ways. And while there is a plan, someplans the plan includes choices that will lead to different paths. You can only control what you do, nobody else. You have a long road but you know where to start. Best of luck.
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