A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I'm a 30 soon to be 31 year old man who has never dated mainly due to lack of confidence and mental health issues. I feel as if I have addressed most of these to an extent where I am now willing to challenge myself in this area. There are some obvious difficulties I will encounter on the way such as not being able to share many anecdotes about myself mainly due to my brief employment history and general lack of interests coupled with non-existing experience with the fairer gender. However I have noted that common traits often saught after in men include a sense of humour. I feel that my difficulty in this area relates more to my personality and my intrinsic qualities. I am by nature very serious and feel that adopting a cocky/funny disposition would just not be a true reflection of my character. Whereas my shortcomings mentioned above can be addressed with time and effort I view projecting a different impression of myself as dishonesty. Are there any adjustments that a shy and retiring male can implement to improve his social and dating skills while staying true to himself?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009): Hi, I had the same problem, as serious as you think you are you must find some things funny, everybodies sense of humor is different and that reflects in dating, there is no set Good Sense Of Humour, what one woman finds funny another will not. Trick is to find one that shares yours, they are out there don't be afraid to try.In my experience you don't have to be popular, have loads of amusing/interesting stories or even be a comedian to get women, although guys that are naturally like that do tend to get more.Staying true to yourself doesn't mean never changing or never improving certain aspects of yourself as you know well from experience. You do have to put yourself "out there" to find a woman. Get out more and do stuff that interests you or things you've never tried (golf,art exhibitions,karting,gym etc.) have as much variety and fun in your life as you can. you could also try the internet and get some women friends online like penpals that share your interests. Good place to find shy retiring people too.Importantly though, try not to think about it all too much i know this website might convince you otherwise but dating is mostly a lot of fun and a good piece of advice for every question on this site is if it isn't fun anymore, move on and try someone else.
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