A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a bit of a pickle, me and my boyfriend have been together for four years, we have a one year old son together.Two months after I had my son I found out that the previous year that he had been cheating on me for a month with a friend of mine I always knew but I needed the evidence and I got it. We have had a tough year I decided to stay with him because I loved him and it happened so long ago we seemed really happy but then my so called friend messaged me telling me he told her she was better than me and that he was going to leave me for her. But she turned him down.My problem now is I don't even know if I want to be with him I've met someone else I haven't told my friend about mine and my boyfriends problems perhaps I'm just looking outside for something else and it wouldn't last. I'm not sure if my friend knows I have a crush. I feel pretty bad because my thoughts are betraying my partner.But the relationship doesn't seem to be getting any better stil this girl is messaging me and getting her friends to hound me I need some courage to leave but I don't want to hurt him where do I go from here?Just to clarify I had a baby with him because I thought everything was great with us.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2013): Just to clarify I haven't actually cheated on my partner!
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (10 May 2013):
FYI, your friend isn't really your friend. I wouldn't believe two words she said... That's not to say he didn't do it, but I wouldn't base everything on her being honest.
Second, guys lie. She probably wanted him to say things like that to make herself feel special, or he said it to get laid.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (10 May 2013):
 Hi
For your relationship to stand any chance this girl and her mates need to be stopped. I would report her to the Police and keep any messages she sends. Stop her by meaning business, its harassment and she is not going away until you do something to deal with it.
You need to have a looong talk with your man too,see if there's any hope. It sounds like mentally you are moving on so have almost given up. As for not hurting him, he is the one who hurt YOU,he cheated
Don't make the mistake of going straight into another relationship if you do end it.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (10 May 2013):
Consider having a long chat with your b/f ask him how he feels about your relationship and you discuss how you feel adding that you dont see a future in it .Also discuss the girl that he cheated with and the reason why she is TEXTING you all the time .Both of you need to talk this out and then if you still decide to leave that choice it up to you.But all this will have to be planned because you have your son to care for .Maybe it would be a good idea to go to a counsellor and talk this over .Kind Wishes Nora B.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2013): You're not really in a pickle are you? You're playing tit for tat, and you just don't want to admit it. There is a child between the two of you. So you better have your ducks in a row, to be sure that child gets the financial support from his father that he deserves. You better make sure you are prepared to deal with child-custody issues, and you can provide your son with a safe and stable environment.As for this friend. How do you know your ex-friend isn't lying to destroy your relationship out of pure jealousy and viciousness? He ditched her and now he's with you. You claim all went well and that happened a long time ago.The fact that you both are cheaters, is full indication there is nothing to salvage. You cheated and you're ashamed to tell him that you have. It's not about you not wanting to hurt him. That is exactly what you wanted to do when you cheated. What you don't want, is to deal with the repercussions of your cheating. It's likely to blow up in your face.You have no choice but to tell the truth. Prepare to break up, and make sure your son is sheltered from any damage this all will cause.
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