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female
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anonymous
writes: how do i leave my boyfriend of five years? he tells me to call the cops when i ask him to leave. what do i do? he does not hit me. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): Abuse is about controlling another person and he is abusing you, psychologically. Never show him that you are afraid of him. Do not negotiate with him..you can do that with bullies. They are insatiable. Do not succumb to blackmail. To the abuser, nothing exists outside himself. Abusers have a mindset that their partners are merely extensions of him and that's creepy because this is about ownership and control. If he moves out, he likely may feel he's losing control over you, which he can't cope with. You need to bring the police. Start quietly planning..call the police in your area and they should be able to give you the resources, the legal steps and information you need to get him out. No one should be forced to tolerate someone in their home when they are not wanted there. If you get him out, a retraining order may have to be put to good use and I suggest you change the locks and secure the home. If you get him out, never, ever give him a second chance. Call the police, today and I wish you good luck and please protect yourself
A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (23 March 2006):
 Why does he tell you to call the cops? To move him out of the house? What country do you live in? I'm just wonderring because in the UK you CAN call the cops to come and get him out of your house, he would then be prosecuted for Domestic Abuse! What exactly is the situation, Is he just blantently refusing to leave, thats controlling, its sounds as if he's being totally controlling over you and thats not on. That's why I'd like to know which country you are from in order to give you satisfactory advice....
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