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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: ok here is my position/dilemmaI moved abroad 9 years ago and almost immmediately fell pregnant and married a friend of many years.Within the first 2 years I suspected he was cheating which was indeed a wake up call that prompted me to attain my independance.That hurdle was 5 years ago and now I am in a career orientied position, own house, boat and 2 vehicles. And I am still married to that same guy.....18 months ago I discovered his business trip was in fact a vacation to another island with another female.... (a tourist he had met months earlier)I was devastated, but I accepted 90% responsibility becuase I had pushed him away both mentally and physically .... but it was another wake up call and I realised how much I loved and wanted him. I accepted his reasoning was because he didn't think I cared anything about him, and once my feelings were proved we were enjoying a very physical relationship.Sadly, 6 weeks after discovering the affair I found I was pregnant. But being 5000 miles from any kind of support system and discovering that my husband had just had an affair there was no way I could go through with the pregnancy.The procedure was filled with every bit of pain that I deserved. There was no pain killers or anesthetic ... the procedure added to the trauma.I couldnt really take anymore and so booked a flight to the UK for 2 weeks and flew out the next dayduring which time I missed my husband and called him constantly.On returing for valentines, I sensed something and snooped. I found that he had took up with some chick 2 days after I left the island... and bought her a phone so that he could phone her..I was close to spiralling out of control on many occasions but I have very good friends that kept me grounded. 18 months later a man walked into my office and I was totally wowed out. Through eamil communication we have been very honest with our sexual needs for one another and despite our best efforts to hook up ... we haven't been able to see each other.I have a 7 year old son who absolutely dotes on his father, I on the other hand feel that I do not love him and I certainly do not have any passion for him despite years of trying....I need passion in my life, I want it desperately!!! and although I know its very wrong to get involved with 'this' married man I don't think I can help myself. I am 38 and never in my whole entire life have I felt physically, lustfully attracted to anyone, I was even beginning to quetion if I was lesbian....Now because our hook plans have been troubled I feel totally frustrated and dejected, I find that I am craving attention from men, I am! I feel like I want to kiss or even have sex with a man, but not any man. I am looking at my 'men' friends in a different way and I even tried to kiss one of them..I don't want to seem conceited, because trust me, I have zero self esteem but I am proud of my physical fitness and I do have the body of a very healthy nimble 20 year old and great young looking skin so I don't have a prblem attracting men...help..
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female
reader, sunrise  +, writes (9 July 2007):
 Hi, I think it's time you moved on, the marriage obviously isn't going to work after so much has gone on. Concentrate on looking after your son and making a life for yourselves.
Dont rush into anything with anyone, you probably feel like you've missed out on life and need to catch up, but doing it the way you feel like you want to at the moment, will only end up with you regretting it. Respect yourself and give yourself time to get over the roller coaster of stress you've been through, dont be hasty in finding someone to show you love, you're worth more than that. Hope you find happiness for you and your son x
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (9 July 2007):
 Divorce your husband immediately. Try to act like a class act for the sake of your son.
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