A
male
age
30-35,
*andomando
writes:I miss her so much and I know she misses me. She texts me all the time and I dont answer. She calls me occasionally at night and I ignore it. I dont know what to say to get her back. I feel if I talk to her I am just comforting her. That she will be comforted bye me until she is over me then she will find another guy. Another reason why i cant talk to her is because i cant be her friend. i love her so much I think about her every second.. When I am asleep I have dreams about her. When im in class I think about her. I love her. I want to be with this girl for the rest of my life. She told me right when we broke up "i could have seen us together forever". I told her we will be one day. But I cant be her friend and see her with anyone but me.i have not contacted her in the past 4 days. She has texted me a couple times a day but I never answer her. She texted me yesterday and I didnt answer. Today I went on her Tumblr account and there was these quotes, it scares me. One said, " sometimes, that girl who seems so strong,who never lets what people say bother her, who smiles and laughs with her friends all the time,is really the girl who deep down, is falling to pieces." The next quote after reading this said "Every 40 seconds someone dies from suicide"..Im scared. i dont really understand Tumblr but I think its what there feeling and they put something on it like a picture or quote for how they feel. But the fact that this was on her account and she put it on right when she texted me.( and the whole account is her talking about our relationship). It scares me. Should I be worried about what I saw on her account?? How do I get her back? If i continuously talk to her and she doesnt get me out of her mind do u think that would be better then me ignoring her? Just because I dont want to push her away if i talk to her alot. What do you think I should do??
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female
reader, Nik9 +, writes (20 October 2011):
Well sorry I didn't come back and read this sooner (same girl as before).
To tell the absolute honest truth: You probably lost her forever. And also, I would have broken up with you too =/
I didn't realize YOU were the bad guy in this. And sexting other women than your girlfriend is close enough to cheating in MY book. Especially because she had suspicions about this girl before. You are SO bad for what you did. Being drunk is NO excuse. She deserves much better after all she's been through in her life. I truly feel sorry for her and I hope she can find someone who will treat her the way she deserves.
GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEAD for the next girlfriend you have: You can't have close friends that are girls. Period.
Because all they do is make things difficult for you and your girlfriend's relationship. You SHOULD have gone to HER for help when you were suicidal. If she's the love of your life and best friend, then she was the one you should have talked to. Not that other slut.(sorry, but she IS. She knew you weren't single, and sexted with you anyway... AKA Slut)
ALSO: NO SEXTING allowed!!! Except with YOUR girlfriend. Duh!!!
Better luck next time. I guess you learned your lesson son.
A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (4 October 2011):
landomando is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSORRY THIS IS LONG BUT PLZ READ I DONT KNOW IF THERE IS HOPE..I am currently in college and my girlfriend is back home. Over this past Labor Day weekend I took a train down to visit my girlfriend for our 11 month. Our relationship has had its ups and downs at the beginning. My friends told me most relationships start like this, small fights every now and then, but slowly they will stop. I had my doubts and after 5 months the fights seemed to have stopped. These fights were not fights in person but more texting fights. We almost texted and fought everyday for a while because we both wanted to be right, or I would get jealous at something really stupid and we would fight.Toward our 6 month I went to a party and she went to a different party. A guy at the party was mad that he could not hook up with this girl because she was talking to me instead of talking to him. So he spread rumors about me and this girl having sex. And two other rumors about me hooking up with two other girls.First, My girlfriend past is, well ****ed up. I am her third boyfriend and every boyfriend before me cheated on her. Her Dad also cheated on her Mom for 5 years with her moms best friend! Cheating is not something that's okay and not something that is accepted by her. Cheating has destroyed her family and basically ruined her life until she found me. I am 100% against cheating. I hate it and have lost friends who have cheated on their girlfriend. I do not respect them and therefore are not friends with them anymore. Her last boyfriend deceived my girlfriend. She ignored that he cheated on her for a month and pretended it hadn't happened until she woke up! And realized it had happened! She then broke up with him. She really felt like an idiot and swore it would never happen again.When she heard about these rumors she did not care what I had to say she just believed them. She broke up with me for about two weeks. After my friends, people who were there at the party and even the kid who spread the rumors and the girl that I was accused of hooking up with and having sex with said it never happened she took me back.But during those two weeks, I began talking to this girl. Really just about how stupid these rumors were and basically crying to her. She was there for me and we became friends. Just friends. She was really nice and one of the more caring people I had ever met. I wanted to just talk to someone because I was so depressed and felt suicidal. She would be on the phone with me for hours or text me and just listen to what I had to say and make me feel better about my self and this situation. And I guess you can say we became close. She was however considered a slut. Everyone I knew probably thought she was a slut. I did too but she was really nice and I consider her a friend. After all I really thought she saved my life just by talking to me and being there for me.After we had become pretty close friends, when I was going through this, my girlfriend told me when she took me back that I was never allowed to talk to her again. She deleted her number from my phone and deleted her from my Facebook. She was a friend with her on Facebook but I lost all contact with her.I wanted my girlfriend back. Shes my best friend and I'm madly in love with her so if she didn't want me to be friends with her then so be it. I would not. It bothered me a little bit but I hadn't know her as long as I had know my girlfriend so I kind have just accepted it. And, I also did not want her to talk to her older boyfriends so she did not.That was just some background that basically was the fuel to the fire. I lit this fire by making a mistake. The week before college started I moved into my dorm. My roommate had asked me about the whole situation that had happened months ago about the girl. I think that just reminded me of the girl and the whole situation. So that night my friends and I got really drunk. Probably the most drunk I had been in a long time. I went back to my dorm and got on the computer and I Facebook friend the girl I wasn't supposed to talk too. She accepted it within minutes. We were talking and then the talking turned to sexting. I don't really want to go into detail but I mean it was like online sex! Really graphic, very descriptive. I honestly don't remember doing it or saying what I was saying at the time. I woke up late the next day and saw her posts on my news feed so I deleted her. I didn't even read the conversation that we had the night before. I didn't even know we had one.Two weeks later I took the train down for our 11 month. I was staying at her house and all my stuff was in my room. I walked into the shower for no longer then 5 minutes. When I got out she was on my computer. In my head, I was like why are you on my computer. She just looked up and gave me this death look. I said what did I do jokingly and she read parts of the conversation. I was like in shock! I didn't know what to say. I didn't even remember talking to the girl and I actually had to think of when this happened. I was frozen in shock. I tried to say it was my roommate on my Facebook then like after getting through the first sentence and realized that wasn't going to work.I told her the truth. I was drunk and talked to her and did not realized what I was saying and sext her. She was crying calling me a cheater and all this stuff and didn't believe me at all. She kicked me out of her house and I stayed at my friends house for 3 days until my train ride. I talked to her told her everything and all she can say is admit it. I have never cheated on her or touched another girl. I'm not going to admit to something I didn't do. I am not a guy that hooks up with girls. I don't do that. I am however a very stupid person. I make mistakes all the time. I'm not perfect at all. I lose my parents trust for doing dumb stuff and earn it back all the time. And well I have always made mistakes in my life. I know I made a mistake and ****ed up.I just want her back. I love her with all my heart and I really mean that. I just don't know what to do. Its been almost a week and we kind of talk. The first couple days it was like how could you cheat on me and I would say the same stuff over and over. Nothing I said she would listen too. I think she was just mad and didn't want to listen, she said stuff like you broke my heart and ruined this relationship. She said I could have seen us being together forever and I wanted to be with you forever. And I wanted the same thing. It kills me when she says that. I honestly break down in tears at night. I can't eat and have been to the health clinic for throwing up. She asks me hows my stomach and stuff. I said its bad and then told her I have to go to a doctor and she just wants me to keep her informed. I can tell she still likes me and cares about me.My friends been face booking her and talking to her, She said she will never forgive me. And that I have made too many mistakes and that this one was too big to be forgiven. I think I ****ed up. I'm human and well I just want her back. And don't know if I should beg for her or I don't know let her go. I don't text her cause I'm scared to talk to her. Its not nice texting its mean and makes me feel like even more **** so I haven't texted her.I just don't know what to do. I wrote her a card right before I got on the train and buried my heart into it and left it on her car. She is the love of my life and part from the fights and stupid **** she's the best person to be around. I love her! And she loves me. I just need help please write. Tips insight. How to get her back anything. (I know I'm in college and can get girls I don't want to hear that) please help thank you for reading
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A
female
reader, Nik9 +, writes (4 October 2011):
I need more information than this! Like, what happened to make you both break up? Who dumped who?If you know she still loves you, and you love her, then ask her if she wants to meet up with you for lunch or something. Try to talk everything out. Maybe you can make it work and start dating again.Or at least if that fails you can then talk about your concerns for her possibly being depressed to the point of suicide.If she doesn't want help from you then all you can do is hope she will remain friends, and check up on her. If you ever suspect she is about to go through with suicide then call a help line and/or tell her family/friends. I don't think ignoring her for much longer is going to do anything but make her possibly become angry with you. She might feel like you don't care about her anymore. If you really love her don't leave her hanging much longer.
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