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I need help on saying goodbye

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 November 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 November 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *ennalove6 writes:

i've been involved with this guy for 4 years, nothing official just involved. and recently things got more serious and we slept together and now things have changed and i need to say goodbye because were on different levels of this relationship and its only going to hurt me. I need help on how to say goodbye in a way that will kind of be an eye opener for him and maybe make him realize things he didnt before, a way to show him that i dont need him, a powerful way of saying goodbye... any ideas?

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (8 November 2010):

Denise32 agony auntQuestion: Are you absolutely sure you WANT to say goodbye and not just send a powerful message detailing mistakes he made and ways he let you down?

Because if you ARE certain you want to end it, then go right ahead, send a letter - heck, send it registered to be certain he gets it - and don't pull any punches. Now: don't misunderstand me: I'm not suggesting you call him names or be deliberately insulting.

You might want to write something along the lines of (for example) "you know, I think you were just completely unaware of how patronizing you sounded when you disagreed with me on religion/politics/you-name-it)". Or "Do you know how insensitive you were and how it made me feel when you put me down in front of my family/your family/our friends?" "You just don't appear to have a clue as to how to behave in public, 'Dave'" "Dave, in closing, I have to tell you how much I DON'T need any more of your nonsense"!

Kennalove, I'm sure you'll come up with your own words but these are just a few ideas to chew on. No doubt he'll get the message that he's to bow out of your life completely!

Good luck!

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (8 November 2010):

Denise32 agony auntQuestion: Are you absolutely sure you WANT to say goodbye and not just send a powerful message detailing mistakes he made and ways he let you down?

Because if you ARE certain you want to end it, then go right ahead, send a letter - heck, send it registered to be certain he gets it - and don't pull any punches. Now: don't misunderstand me: I'm not suggesting you call him names or be deliberately insulting.

You might want to write something along the lines of (for example) "you know, I think you were just completely unaware of how patronizing you sounded when you disagreed with me on religion/politics/you-name-it)". Or "Do you know how insensitive you were and how it made me feel when you put me down in front of my family/your family/our friends?" "You just don't appear to have a clue as to how to behave in public, 'Dave'" "Dave, in closing, I have to tell you how much I DON'T need any more of your nonsense"!

Kennalove, I'm sure you'll come up with your own words but these are just a few ideas to chew on. No doubt he'll get the message that he's to bow out of your life completely!

Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010):

Maybe write him a letter?

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