A
female
age
30-35,
*illy456
writes:i got with my ex over last summer and i got really close to him, even though it was only around 4 months everything seemed so perfect i really think i fell for him he made me so happy. i never wanted to split from him.. he was so gorgeous and im the most pickiest person ever when it comes to actually getting with someone. but things went wrong. he changed. seemed he didnt want me ? i didnt know why nd i took it really hard after the messy break up.. its been 6 months since weve split and but i still break down in class sometimes if something reminds me of him. i couldnt stop texting him just telling him i miss him and asking to see him. but i havnt spoke to him for 10 days ... its been the longest i havent spoke to him :/ i just want to know how to move on!
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male
reader, JoeM  +, writes (16 March 2010):
I thought I would never get over someone after a breakup and it did hurt for a long time, but time does heal and you always do find another special someone.One thing that I did find to get over the person was to challenge my thoughts about her.Try writing down all the things that you feel and tell yourself about him, especially the things that get you feeling emotional about him again.You should then challenge each of these thoughts your having and write down more realistic reponse to these thoughts.For example if you put him on pedestal and think he is better than any other guy.Challenge that thought...Remember before you met him he was just like any other guy. If you could develop these feelings for him, of course you can develop these feelings for someone else in the future.So its not realistic to put him on such a pedestal. You just miss the love you shared. But you will find someone else to love in the future.Challenging your thoughts and feelings and writing down a response to them really helps. Because next time you start getting those feelings, open up the document you have written this stuff down in and read it. It will help you see the reality of the situation and eventually with time you will let it all go.Worked for me! so hope it helps...(Note: challenging your thoughts and feelings like this is a self help method called Cognitive Behavior therapy, google it... it is proven to be very effective...)
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