A
female
age
30-35,
*ammy09
writes:Hi. I really really need help. I was in a relationship with this guy for 5 years. I loved him way too much and endured a lot for him. I forgave all his blunders but when I made a mistake of fighting, he dumped me. I made so many efforts to make him feel special and finally he forgave me. I wasn't allowed to react in that relationship. Today I reacted, that guy whom I trusted so much left me alone on a place far from home at night. For him, his grudges were more important than my life and safety. I begged him to drop me home since I came trusting him, he switched off his cell knowing anything could have happened since I was in a highly unsafe area. That was the worst shock I could take. Guy I loved him much left me alone at night in a place full of crime. And when I was in shock crying terribly, he abused me more. I am in a shock. Am still in shock and my life is in such a bad place since last couple of months. I was desperately looking for counselors but didn't find any option up here. I need help. I don't know how to handle myself and start my life again. Please help me. The shock and pain is too much to endure. I did so much for this guy since 5 years. Really dedicated my life to him. I can't believe this. I need to move on in life, forget everything and start a new life but how. I am scared.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2014): Just because people see fit to treat us like rubbish it doesn't mean we deserve that- it's THEIR problem, not a reflection on us. You've clearly invested a lot of time, emotion and resources on him- and left yourself drained. Although you don't have a high sense of self worth at this point, you WILL get back on your feet again, as long as you reach out to people, be brave and accept any help you can get- asking for help and submitting yourself to others is scary, particularly after all you've given this jerk, but there are GOOD people out there, and we all need help sometimes. Look at all on DC, who need help, and console, and advise. I agree with the first poster, have a look for any women's shelters, or any friends, family? Have you got work? ANY job, no matter what they pay, will give you a sense of independence... And you'll learn a new skill. Try a hobby- or a new course, if it's possible.Be good to YOURSELF, and let others help you all they can. You deserve it. Take care and good luck x :)
A
male
reader, RevMick  +, writes (12 May 2014):
 Hi sammy,
I'm sorry you are in a bad situation and it's not right that anyone should dump on someone as much as he seems to dump on you.
The first thing to do is realize how much better off you are now, there is no one to dump on you. You are finally in control of your own emotions and environment.
Are there are woman's shelters, places you can go to get a bit of support? Sometimes people who are abused become so in awe of their abusers that they begin to need them.
They begin to think they need the abuse in order to be normal. But, you are much better off now and I hope you see that.
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