A
female
age
26-29,
*ighheeledfeminist
writes:So I posted a question about this guy a bit ago...He is a bit older than me so I wasn't sure how things would work between us but then we kinda went on a quasi-date, it was really fun and he's so easy to be with and I'm trying to decode him and figure out if he is actually interested in being more than friends. I'm no good at figuring out the physical aspect of relationships if that makes sense. So, help? :)When we talk he touches me a LOT, just like light touches on the arm/shoulder/upper back, he seems to be very close to me when we're talking, sometimes so close that we kind of bump each other as we're walking, and he kind of leans in when I say something even to someone else if we're in a group and seems to really want to engage with me whatever the situation is. Last week when we hung out though, he gave me a hug that sorta confused me...Part of the problem was it was when he was leaving and so he was holding something and had only one arm to hug me with lol, but he held me fairly tight but not super tight, we were relatively close together but it wasn't super intimate, not super short but not intimately long. He kind of rubbed my shoulder briefly which I feel like is usually associated with more of a friendly hug. Do you think it's just that he doesn't want to move too fast but is interested? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, highheeledfeminist +, writes (2 January 2013):
highheeledfeminist is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks so much to those who have responded so far for your extremely kind, thoughtful, honest, and practical opinions. :)
A
female
reader, KristinaMarchant +, writes (1 January 2013):
I think that janniepeg is right. you have to talk. I know it might be difficult to start a conversation without seeming too assertive. Just say, "I feel uncertain and a bit confused. I'm sorry if I sound too upfront, but I have to ask, what are we exactly?" Be honest about your feelings concerning his answer, too. If he gives you the run-around and it leaves you feeling uncertain or even upset, say, "I feel upset. I'm glad you answered me, but I don't know if I can be close to you in this fashion without knowing where we stand. I don't want to get hurt and I don't want to feel confused. Does this makes any sense?" If he cares about you, he will reassure you at that point. Take every relationship as a chance to learn something about men and about yourself. Brave honesty and always be kind. You will find love one day.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 January 2013):
 Yes you are already more than friends. The only way to know if either of you want a relationship or just sex, is to talk.
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