A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello aunts, I have an embarrassing yet difficult question to ask. I have been with my wife for about five years and everything is great, yet I have a vice that is difficult to control. I hate to say it, but I like to watch my wife with other guys. I am not bisexual nor gay, I just like to see her enjoy herself. Up to this point we have had many of these experiences and have enjoyed them, but I feel like sometimes I get ahead of myself and start wanting more.I enjoy all we do, but I find myself wanting this more and more often. My question is, where could I find/look for some free counseling or therapy for this. I've looked for therapists but their rates are $150-200 per hour and I can't afford that. I don't necessarily want to change our lifestyle, but I do want to learn how to control certain urges or at least be able to vent/ talk to someone about this. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2016): My impression is that fetishes are VERY hard to control.
I just thought of free counseling for you-- a Catholic priest. I am not a religious guy but I'll bet they would be more than happy to talk to you. Or a Rabbi... who might be more open-minded.
I am not into cuckolding, but if your wife is up for it, why are you worried about it?
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (21 March 2016):
I have heard of this before, but never understood it. Cuckhold fantasies are just baffling to me. I wish you could expand on this further just for clarification.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2016): Finding free therapy will be difficult. Especially when you may require specialized counseling. You have to check your health plan to see what it will cover. You don't necessarily have to pay all out of pocket.
You also have to practice some self-control to the best of your ability. You're eventually going to lose your wife. The problem with allowing outsiders into your bedroom is; eventually your wife is either going to attach feelings or become attracted to one of these intruders. People have feelings, and they can be unpredictable. Your urges are overruling your common-sense.
Sometimes people have such a strong sense of entitlement they throw all caution to the wind and surrender to every wild impulse that crosses their mind. Until bad habits become addictions. Which is exactly what you're now going through. Your best option is to stop it altogether and go cold-turkey. You shouldn't be married. Continue as you're going and it won't be long before you're not. You'll of course claim to love your wife. Not really. Love won't allow you to exploit someone like that.
If your wife is that willing to do such a thing, she shouldn't be married either. Marriage is an exclusive commitment. Offering her too many other options is eventually going to find your replacement; because at some point, she is going to want a real marriage to someone different and more committed. She'll tire of you pimping her out for your own sexual pleasure and entertainment.
If you don't plan to change your lifestyle, what's the point of therapy? Therapy can't make you practice restraint or self-control, it can only help you figure out what causes certain behaviors. If you have a compulsive disorder, it may take years of treatment. No one can offer that for free. Most support-groups are voluntary. You may want to search online or ask a mental-health counselor for a referral.
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