A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am meeting a guy for coffee next week, and I have been duly informed by my friends that I suck a flirting and recognising flirting. I don't know if this guy likes me or not, but we had a close working relationship last year, but haven't seen each other for nearly a year and my gut impression was he did like me because he gave off a lot of signs that he did, but in the end we just went our separate ways. We have been in contact sporadically throughout the year, and all of his texts have ended with something like "let's grab coffee next time you are free" or "let's grab lunch"...etc...etc. Anyway we are finally having coffee. So I was wondering, do you have a flirting tips for me, I just worry as it has been so long, either he will have lost interest or won't find me attractive anymore. Also, any signs I should look out of flirting from him. He used to run his fingers through his hair a lot and pull up his socks with a similar frequency. Thanks for all your help in advance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2013): You are so totally wound up, and your so-called friends only damaged your self-confidence. I'm not quite sure why you are so anxious about everything. I would understand this anxiety coming from a teenage schoolgirl.If you come across as antsy or too nervous, you're going to scare this guy. Remind yourself you're going out for coffee; he isn't going to propose to you or pull your teeth. It's not a job interview. Relax and totally be yourself. Follow his lead. If he is lay-back and at ease, just do the same. You really need to work on your self-esteem. Please don't worry about reading any signs or put on a forced or mechanical performance. Just be natural. Let the guy do all the flirting, and just smile. Don't grin or freeze your face into anything ridiculous. Just a sweet relaxed feminine smile. Wear a nice outfit. It should be comfortable and appropriate for a coffee shop lunch. Something bright (not loud) and pretty. Do your hair nicely, and use just a hint of a nice lip gloss. Dab on a light and pretty fragrance. You'll find that the more real and down to earth you are, the more attractive you'll come across. Guys know when your behavior is practiced or rehearsed; because it looks phony.Coming on strong isn't really you.It's best to let a man like you for who you are, not who you pretend to be. Flirting is a natural instinct. It comes out when you're with the right guy. He'll bring out the best in you. Pay no attention to your silly friends. A little shy awkwardness is just part of your true personality. That's what he likes about you. Rely on your natural poise as a female.Be a lady, be yourself, smile pretty, and you're ready to go. Good luck
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