A
female
age
36-40,
*llakate
writes:So I'm interested in this guy and I would like ideas as to how I can let him know I'm interested in pursuing a relationship and not just an occasional hook up sort of thing.We don't live in the same state and I see him only when I visit a friend or he comes to the state I live in with this friend. I've only really hung out with him on four occasions and two of those times we hooked up (although short of sex). I know for a fact that he is looking for a relationship (in general, not necessarily with me), but I feel like he may think I'm just looking for fun or that the fact that I live three hours away is too prohibitive. I'll be visiting my friend who lives near him next week and I'm pretty sure there will be an opportunity for us to hook up again. I'm really shy and am too afraid to come right out or even strongly hint that I'm interested in him in the relationship sense, is there anything more subtle that I can do, or does anyone have advice about this situation?
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female
reader, Emj85  +, writes (24 September 2007):
 I went out on a date with my boyfriend and for four dates after that and I really wanted to ask him, then one night when we were together, I asked him did he think of me and he did so I took that opportunity to ask him how he felt and we became a couple - sometimes chick honesty is the best policy, what have you got to lose if he just likes you as a friend? Hope this helps x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): I think you'll have to put your shyness to one side for once and ask him how he would feel about having a proper relationship with you. You've got a 50/50 chance - he'll either be all for it or he won't!
A couple of stiff brandies beforehand might loosen you up a bit. But not too many!
Phil
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (23 September 2007):
 As you are visiting your friend who lives near him next week, this is an ample opportunity to collate some information as to what he is looking for. Choose a good setting, with a romantic atmosphere to talk with him. You don't have to come right out with it, but just ask him in an indirect sort of way if he is looking for a relationship. try abit of light flirtatious gestures, like try to touch his hand and see if he withdraws. Catch his eye and try to hold eyecontact with him and see if he reciprocates this.
All the best x
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