A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need help on a date idea for me and my husband. We have been having ALOT of problems lately and I have decided for ME TO TAKE HIME on a date. He has told me I’m boring before and that is b/c i probably am. I'd much rather stay at home than go out anywhere. So I am planning on having my mom take our son over night and for us to have a great night together. I have a few ideas so please tell me what sounds more fun and the best. I thought dressing up real nice and taking him to a restaurant he has never been to but I know he will enjoy. This restaurant I have been to with my family and it is very dark and romantic so I think it would be perfect to set the mood of how I want the night to play out. After dinner I thought of a movie but we do that a lot and we don’t get to interact through the movie. So I thought instead to take him to the park we used to spend a lot of time together in high school and bring a blanket and just lay there and talk and play hide n seek in the dark at the park. Just be childish and play like we used to in the park. This would kind of bring back memories and remind us how much fun we used to have and why we fell in love. The other thought I had was for more of a fun dinner date somewhere louder and fast paced. Then we could go bowling or roller skating after. Or even go to dinner at a place that has a pool table and darts something of that nature. Or places where there is like go carts and laser tag...My other idea would be to go to dinner and take him to the XXX drive in theater and you know just enjoy that. We have never done this before but I have always thought it would be neat and he would enjoy it. I am really trying to make our lives better. We fight and bicker at each other a lot and it’s annoying for us both. So I’m not sure if a fun night would be best or something more romantic and kind of reminding us why we fell in love and rekindle that romance. Any more suggestions are welcome (again I’m not very umm creative I guess I don’t have many “let’s go on a date” ideas of my own) Thank you all!!! :)
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (22 April 2011):
 Good for you taking the steps to make things work. And good for you, hearing criticism and working on improving things rather than getting upset about it. Your husband's a lucky man.The "boring" comment and the bickering might tempt you to react by fighting with him, but resist that urge. You can't improve a marriage by fighting about every little thing. Go to the effort of improving things, the way you are.Now, obviously you know him better than I do. If any of this runs counter to what you know about him, ignore it and use your best judgment. Anyway, here goes.Restaurants are boring. At least, to most guys they are. You have to sit apart and demonstrate some level of propriety. Skip the restaurant. Same with the movie, but you figured that out.Instead, go with your ideas for activites together. Start with the darts/pool idea, have a drink with him and play. Later, take the park idea you had (a great idea, since you'll be alone with your nostalgia) and bring a light dinner along. Sandwiches and a bottle of wine would be enough. Playfulness in general is also a great idea, especially after a drink or two. (Don't have too much if driving will be involved). In general, if you can firt two or three locations into a date, that's perfect.Laser tag, bowling, skating, and go-carts are good ideas, but keep an eye out for any dark corners you can slip into for a ten-second makeout session before getting back to what you were doing before. Alternate between playing and romantic stuff quickly and unpredictably, without words or warning. Save some energy to go dancing afterwards. If you can get away with it, try to quickly change clothes in the car (lights off, and after dark, so it's "public" without a real risk of being seen).On that note, you don't have to wear something really nice if he knows for a fact that you're wearing something sexy under it (lingerie, or nothing at all, depending on his/your tastes and what you're wearing). For more general fun, you could even let him know you're wearing something sexy under your regular clothes on an ordinary day, preferably about two or three hours before he's going to get a chance to take you out of them.You don't really need to do crazy activities to have fun, you just have to do everything in a fun way. Pulling him aside for a quiet kiss, dressing in the car, or wearing lingerie are just the start. You could have a quickie before a date in addition to lovemaking afterwards, you could come up with a list of things to do at roll dice on that list at random times during the date (long kiss on a one, staring contest on a two, and so on), you could close your eyes and have him lead you from one bar to another by holding your hand (and warning you when there's a step). Just add a tiny dose of unpredictable fun. My first girlfriend once asked me to turn the car around when we were five minutes away from the dorms, took me back inside without explanation, and we had a quickie before getting dressed again and going out. It was completely unexpected and completely welcome (especially given that I started out being annoyed, but that changed in a hurry).
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