A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need an answer, I need to break up with my GF of 2 months because I realize now that I wasn't in love with her at all, I was infatuated but not in love. I want to let her down easy but I want to end it soon. At the same time, and I've felt this way for a while, I've been in unrequited, go to the end of the earth love, with my best friend. She is so kind and sweet and I could be with her forever. So does anyone have any ideas or suggestions for my problem.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): my advice to you is first of all. it should take anybody no matter what your age more then two months to decide wheather or not they love a person. if there was not another girl involved you wanted to be with i would say to stay with your present girlfriend and see how things go because who knows as time went on you could truely realize you love her and it was not just a strong infatuation. however, since there is someone else involved, and she is your best firend.. chances are you spend a lot of time with her and talk to her alot so chances are those feelings will not go away. if you really feel like you care more for your best friend then just tell your girlfriend the truth. yes of course she will be upset but it has only been 2 months so she will get over it. but i would not suggest breaking up with your girlfriend just for the reason that you dont think you love her because in my opinion no 13-15 year old knows what true love is. and it takes way more then 2 months to know what it really feels like. so if you see potential i would give it time
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 February 2008):
 Just tell her the truth as what you wrote here. She will feel hurt and dejected but she will come around.
As to your other problem of unrequited love, continue to walk that extra mile for her and hope she will change her mind.
You need to nurture and take care of her like a plant until it blooms.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (29 February 2008):
 Thank you for your consideration with your girlfriend. A true gentleman will find the right words to end a relationship that isn't working. It is best to be honest with her and yes, let her down gently as really she didn't do anything wrong, it just didn't work out. The best words to choose would be something along the lines of "I am sorry but I no longer feel the same about you and this relationship is not working for me." You needent say any more and especially don't say "lets be friends or you deserve better than me or your a swell girl". All of this is contrite and will not make her feel any better. If you see her don't be unfriendly but definately don't lead her on. I don't know how she will take this but she may hate you and not want to talk to you. Don't feel bad if that is the case.
Now, it seems you've asked a 2nd question regarding a friend you really would like to be with but that she doesn't feel the same? Again, just like this girl you're dating can not change your feelings, unfortunately you can not change your friends. Just enjoy being with her and maybe in time her feelings will change.
These are all the school of hard knocks love lessons. How you handle things at this age will shape you into being a fine gentleman in the future.
You sound to be a wonderful boy.
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